Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

I firmly resolve to never die. Ever. So far, I've kept this resolution and I hope to keep it for the rest of the year too.

In other news, the cause of the hobo is becoming less than appreciated. That means I'll have to steal at a greater rate in order to gain the necessary attention. Maybe I'll take a dump on people's doorsteps too, and puke in their lawn. That's usually effective.

The po po have been friendly recently. They're usually sending me on my way, rather than beating me to death. Which is good, because I've made a resolution not to die this year (or next year, but that might be pushing it).

Anyway, ho hum, that's all. I have no plans to leave this glorious country, not until we get back on the gold standard. I can't stand gold. It gives me a rash. And getting a rash makes me puke too, and I'll have to puke in people's yards more. I'm actually running out of fresh yards, and if I keep going, I'll deplete the entire rainforest... uh... yard surplus.


Television professor! Television starts with the letter T!

Sorry about that. I'm contracting a mental illness, something called Spontaneous Trash Umbrella Pick-a-nose Inverted Democracy. Pretty much forces me to overuse emoticons and talk about random stuff. :)

Well, :-) I guess it's time to end this New Years rant ):

But don't worry! :) I'll still post something sometime. ^_^

Maybe :S