Saturday, May 18, 2013

Racist People

justGeorge feels like going on a rant about... donut prices.

The price for donuts is too... high. I had to spend two million dollars just to get a solid gold donut. And it didn't even taste good.

I'm for real guys, if this keeps up, I'm gonna have to move to Canada; I heard that gold is free there. That's why there was the great Gold Rush of '95- because Canadians were giving away gold. If I can get me some of that, then I'll finally be rich. Rich in Calcium.

If I were a rich man... yub- you know what? I think there's a time and place for everything, including when to speak and when not to speak. Thankfully I'm typing, so that means I don't have to speak.

Everyday I'm shuffling... into work where I sit in a cubicle, thinking about how the word "cubicle" sounds like a body part.

Hey! Since I never post and I'm doing it right now, I have an announcement for you.

No, not you, reader. I'm talking to someone right now. Please stop being vain. Seriously. I'll bet you think this blog post is about you, don't you? Well, stop being so stoopid. You don't see me talking like an idiot, so why do you?

No, I'm not talking. I'm typing. See? This is another example of your stupidity. It frustrates me sometimes. It really does. Fo realz, man. In fact, I'm going to increase the education budget because that apparently solves everything in the world. Yeah, more taxes and more computers. That's what schools need.

Oh! I have an idea. Let's play the quiet game! Ready? Go!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Yo dis be yo homeboi

Hello, fair readers of this blog. I am here to inform you about a wonderful adventure you can take... for free! That's right, it's a buzzword we all know and love. Lemme say it a few more times. Free! FREE! FREEEEEEEEZE!

Now who doesn't like free?

All you gots to do is send me your money, and I promise I won't charge anything for it! Honestly! You can send me as much money as you want, and I won't charge you!

So what are you waiting for? I need money, and you need to chase after the word "free". So do it!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

I firmly resolve to never die. Ever. So far, I've kept this resolution and I hope to keep it for the rest of the year too.

In other news, the cause of the hobo is becoming less than appreciated. That means I'll have to steal at a greater rate in order to gain the necessary attention. Maybe I'll take a dump on people's doorsteps too, and puke in their lawn. That's usually effective.

The po po have been friendly recently. They're usually sending me on my way, rather than beating me to death. Which is good, because I've made a resolution not to die this year (or next year, but that might be pushing it).

Anyway, ho hum, that's all. I have no plans to leave this glorious country, not until we get back on the gold standard. I can't stand gold. It gives me a rash. And getting a rash makes me puke too, and I'll have to puke in people's yards more. I'm actually running out of fresh yards, and if I keep going, I'll deplete the entire rainforest... uh... yard surplus.

BASEBALL!

Television professor! Television starts with the letter T!

Sorry about that. I'm contracting a mental illness, something called Spontaneous Trash Umbrella Pick-a-nose Inverted Democracy. Pretty much forces me to overuse emoticons and talk about random stuff. :)

Well, :-) I guess it's time to end this New Years rant ):

But don't worry! :) I'll still post something sometime. ^_^

Maybe :S