Friday, August 26, 2011

Pop-tarts are... my life!

Pop-tarts are... my death.

Woe is me. I am slain by the tarts of pop.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Checkers and Chumps

Wham!

"King me!" justGeorge shouted at the top of his lungs, just to prove he was a winner.

"Sorry dude, you just jumped yourself and ended up on your side," the fat guy accross the table from him said, slightly annoyed.

"So...?"

"So that means your piece doesn't get to be king, so just make a legal move instead."

(justGeorge thinks about it for a while, then gets angry)

"Well if my piece doesn't get to be king, then YOU'LL be the one that's crowned," he pointed a gruby finger at the fat guy.

"What's dat supposed to mean?"

"It means you should let the stupid piece become a king... or else."

"Are you threatening me?!"

"Listen, I'M the one who's cheating so I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO SHOULD WIN!"

"Calm down, dude. You're getting way too into this game. Let's just play something else."

justGeorge shook his fist, a single vein bulged from his neck. "NO! NOW I INSTANTLY WIN!"
And in a moment of maniacal rage, picked up the wooden checkers board, and slammed it on the fat guy's head, breaking it in half. The fat guy ran to get the police, while justGeorge ran in the opposite direction.

justGeorge faded off into the night, leaving the sound of sirens behind him...


Epilogue

The fat guy was cleaning up the checkers, then noticed a note on the ground. He picked it up and read it. It said:

I still win, fatty.


The End

I got the blues real bad

Well, my account is being hacked again, and I can't actually write my own titles anymore. So, ignore any future titles to my posts until further notice.

So just yesterday I got really mad because I couldn't see my forehead.

Then I realized that if I saw my forehead, then I'd be a freak.

Then I was happy.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A circle

They say life is a circle, but I know better
Life is an oval and grandma's gift sweater

Because ovals are screwed up and the sweater is always ugly.



A simplistic and beautiful poem by justGeorge.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Post All About Charlie Brown

Wah wah wah wah.

Wah wah wah wah wah? Wah wah?

Wah, wah wah wah wah wah... Wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Volcanoes

(to the tune of the Sesame Street Theme Song)

Pompeii
Sweeping your city away

On its way
To where the air isn't clean

Can you tell me how to get
How to get outta this place?

Pompeii
This has been an ashy day

No way
It's roasting, that's what I say

Can you tell me how to get
How to get some fresh air



Well, enough of that grotesque humor. I'm tired, and I want to go potty. So if you don't mind...

The End

Friday, August 12, 2011

Fruit Juice

Soap is good for you.

I am a Tuscan Raider.

Don't step on concrete without a toenail.

Spiders can't smell.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

150, that's a magic number

I sorta have 150 posts, depending on who you ask.

Hey, speaking of 150, I think I caught 'em all. But then I discovered that Mew exists in the game. Then I got angry and threw my gameboy against the wall. Unfortunately, I haven't been working out recently so it didn't break. But that was also a blessing in disguise. I was able to play the game some more and level up my Pokemon.

Hey, have you ever noticed that if you but a piece of scrambled egg on the ceiling,  it looks like a comet or a planet or something. So I took my entire meal of scrambled eggs and made a planetarium. Then I took some plastic astronauts and taped it to the ceiling as well, that way he's lost in space.

So, some of you were wondering how I got out of Doo Doo Doo Land. Well, it's a lot easier than I thought. All you have to do is get a different song stuck in your head. Then you can hum that. Right now I'm humming my own made up song. I'm sure you guys wouldn't want to - YOU WOULD? Ok. Here goes:

Chick'n cook'n' in da pot
A chick'n cook'n' in all da pots
I like chick'n, not smoking pot
A movie with chick'n has no plot

Boil that cabbage down
Bake those biscuits brown
The only reason you biscuits are burn'n'
is cuz you're sitting on the stove

She'll be comin' over dat mountain when she comes
She'll be comin' over dat mountain when she comes
She'll be eating dat mountain
Yeah, she'll be eating up dat mountain
She'll be chewing up dat mountain when she comes

Mary had a little spam
little spam
little spam

Mary had a little spam
with low quality meat
to eat


I was thinking about sending it to another record store, because I haven't heard back from the first one yet. I already have a name for it and everything. "The Country Road of Social Awareness" catchy isn't it?

Well, that's all the time I have for today. Apparently SOMEBODY doesn't like long posts. Well, whoever it is probably has a monotone voice and a little brother that beats him up.

The End

Monday, August 8, 2011

Well, so there I was... oops... this is the title, not the paragraph land.

Well, so there I was, this time fo real. I was standing eye-to-eye with the giant sea serpent. But even then I was not afraid for I am the great Flavio! Er, uh... I meant justGeorge, but you get the picutre. Just picture me as an awesome guy and you'll be right.

I must say, today has been an interesting day. First I was almost kidnapped by some pirates. But thankfully if you use ivory soap or something, they can stand you. Plus if you throw some Jack Daniels overboard, the pirates will swim after it.

Well, after avoiding the plank, I was abducted by space aliens. This was mostly because I had lied to their two spies, telling them that I was ol' Kickbutt George back in the day. I told them I use hedgeclipers to shave and a lawnmower to cut my hair. They were almost convinced to abduct me, but then like the good ol' country boy that I am, I mooned them. That settled it.

They sucked me into their spaceship and was about to enact biological revenge (by snatching my body and a few cows' to take over the world) but I pulled out my trusty harmonica and played the blues. I don't know what caused me to do so, but that's unimportant. The point is, the aliens HATE the blues. They actually turned blue in the face after listening to a few verses and fainted dead away.

I ran out of their spaceship in a hurry. But then I was run over by an out of season reindeer. The worst part of it however, is that some country bumpkins kept calling me ol' grandma justGeorge. Being a city dweller, I didn't take that lying down. I gave them all a city version of a noogie, then a knuckle sandwich.

Speaking of sandwiches, you should go buy McDonalds right now. That way, you won't have to read the rest of this post. Why don't you go do that? I'll wait.

No, don't worry I'm still waiting. Go on.

...

Ok, lets go.

...

...

Uh... you going anytime soon?

...

...

...

...

I don't have all day here.

...

...

I'M SERIOUS!

...

...

Alright, so anybody that was going to McDonalds anyway has gone. Now, all you semi-not-fat people out there, listen up.

I've got a new vocabulary word for you to memorize:


Supermarioandluigiareawesomeplumbersandwariostinksilikechickenespeciallyifitsfriedwritingsongsishardsoiuseapointypencilbeansandeggsagiantt-shirtisfuntowearespeciallyifitisredlookbothwaysbeforecrossingthestreetilovemakingupnewwordsjusttopassthetimetwinkletwinklelittlestarhowiwonderwhatorwhereorhowyouarealightbulbisshinyespeciallyifyoumicrowaveitbutitwillexplodeifyoudotheend

It's a type of eyeball cancer only found in Spain. It's mostly because the rain in spain stays mainly on the plains. Plus, all that spanishy stuff that they do must cause an increase of radiation in the area. Speaking of radiation and mutants and mutany, have I ever told you the story of when I was kidnapped by pirates...?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Doo Doo Doo Land

I'm trapped in Doo Doo Doo Land. Occasionally I'll - Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo - I'll break out in a song and hum a little tune. Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! Someone help me get out - Doo Doo Doo DOO DOO DOO! - of here. I need help!

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Raticate

Guts Raticate


Item: Flame Orb

Ability: Guts


Facade
Crunch
U-Turn / Quick Attack
Protect


Simply allow the burn to activate guts, then try to sweep. This little rat has enough power to catch people off guard and get a surprise KO or two.



Simply Annoying Raticate

Item: Focus Sash

Ability: Guts


Endeavor
Super Fang / Counter
Last Resort / Me First
Protect / Taunt


A lot of options here, and all gimmicky. Go with your heart or whatever.



Swords Dance Raticate

Item: Focus Sash / Flame Orb

Ability: Guts


Return
Quick Attack / Pursuit
Sucker Punch
Swords Dance


Get a swords dance up by being lucky, then try to sweep. Priority moves are your friend.




Raticate, looking cool with only two teeth.
Raticate, a rat pokemon who's incredibly fast, can be fun to use, but is not bulky enough to use him in competitive battling. Then again, not many Pokemon are.
Raticate - it is what it is.

Coolio

Once upon a time Lock was walking in the forest, collecting bugs, twigs, nuts, and leaves. Every time he got one, he felt the need to hold it in the air and display it to whoever was watching. One day an evil man named Canondorf obtained the Tripleforce of Brawn and spread darkness across the land. Then he kidnapped Princess Zeplin.

Lock had had enough. He used his Legendary Sword to defeat Canondorf and seal him away. Well, I just got a coolio thingamajig'n'thingo for myself. It was sorta for my birthday. Apparently if you tell someone it's your birthday, then steal their wallet, you'll end up with a lot more money than you had before. You might be able to get a few idiots to sing you a song before you rob them.

Speaking of criminal activity, I just farted. Now back to the Link parody story. I only told you this just to see if you're actually reading the whole post instead of the beginning and end. But Canondorf was powerful enough to break the seal after a few generations so he broke free. But another guy that looks like Lock defeated him anyway.

The End

Monday, August 1, 2011

Some where over the rainbow

This is  a song dedicated to all the happy people in the world.



Somewhere over the rainbow
And a gay pride parade

Resides a pot 'o' gold
Guarded by a leprachaun

Or so I've been told


Somewhere over the rainbow
And a forty day flood

Supposedly resting on a mountain
Lies a non-rotten ark

Or so I've been told


Somewhere over the rainbow
A pixilated wonder

In cyberspace somewhere
Rests a series of nonsense numbers that represent all the colors of the world

Or so I've made up


The End