Under a log I waited... waited... waited. My meal was grazing in the pasture, not moving much at all. So I continued waiting.
Several intense hours passed without event. My neck was getting stiff and my arms were getting tired from crouching. But I could not give in to weakness. I waited...
After a couple more hours of waiting for my meal to move, I got tired. So I suddenly pushed the log asside and ran out to meet my food.
The donut sat there as if it weren't alive. I was too smart for that. If it gave nutrients, it must be alive somehow, and if it is alive it can move. It was trying to play dead.
I jumped upon it with lightning speed. Unfortunately, lightning never strikes the same place twice (because it's really bad at aiming). So missed and was sent tumbling down the hill.
"Think yer so smart, do ya?!" I shouted at it.
I ran up the hill and tackled the beast. Still pretending to be dead it laid there in my hand. I didn't give it time to fight back. With one swift motion I popped the creature into my mouth, and swallowed it like a snake (without chewing).
I gave a gorrilla yell at my triumph. I beat my chest like a lunatic and began the donut dance (which consists of me going in circles until I got dizzy).
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, more than 20 police men surrounded me from the undergrowth. I started to panic.
"No! My donut! Not yours! Get yer own! I STOLE this! It's MINE!!!"
I ran, trying to break the circle of piggies. They shouted something about Operation RedRover. They all suddenly locked arms. I dove under their arms and ran as fast as I could.
Then I hid behind a vending machine. So I waited until they stopped looking for me. So I waited.... waited... waited...