Friday, December 23, 2011

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Magic and Ice Scream

The only emperor is the emperor of ice scream.
Ice scream and you'll scream
when you see the ice scream

Home is where your heart is...

I've got a pocket full of sunshine.
I got burned with the fusion reaction and now I'm incinerated
And I know that it's all mine


wake me up when september ends...
and I'm out of this coma

I'm kidding. Everyone knows that we're well into November right now.

I'm running out of stuff to say.

The End.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Guess the Animal

Never found by mortal man's meager means
Yearning for pop-tarts bring similar dreams
A rainbow trailing behind it's magic rear
N00bs cower in terror when this creater is near

Cute but dangerous, a terror of space
A flying singer of a feline race
Tasty sprinkled epicness in yo face

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Edumacation Degree

So I tried to get myself an edumacation in college again, after dropping out the first time. So this is how it all went down:

I walked on campus and looked around for my dorm room. After talking with the front office, I found that I had been "demoted" to hobo status on the campus and had to stay in a cardboard box during my edumacation.

Well, needless to say, I didn't feel I was getting the fair and equal opportunity everyone else got. I stayed the night in my box anyway. All night long, the dogs in the yard nearby kept barking at me and would rattle the chain fence.

The next day I woke up unrefreshed and feeling sad. This situation made me sad inside, so sad that I decided to express my emotions by telling someone that I was sad. When I feel sad, I feel sad inside. So sad, in fact that I lose my ability to use non-syllabic vocabulary to describe my emotions.

So I went to the front office of my college to ask them about my dorm, requesting a transfer. They said they'd look into the situation, and perhaps I might become promoted to "normal student" whatever that means.

My first class that day was Modern-Classic Literature. When I got into the lecture hall, the teacher stood in front of the class and read Goodnight Moon. Then he sat down in his chair, closed his eyes, then fell asleep.

This gave me some time to converse with the rest of the rest of the students, most of whom were wearing wife-beaters and baggy pants. I tried my best to speak to them, but they would insist on using another language filled with nonsensical English phrases like "pop a cap in yo [censored for children under the age of 40]"

The confusing part of that phrase was that none of the students had any bottlecaps, only pistols that they carried on them at all times.

Also, they kept refering to eating stuff as "shanking". I didn't quite understand this because they kept saying the phrase "I will shank you". But that wouldn't make any sense because looking at people's mouths, there were only 50 teeth among the 20 total students.

I was very confused when I returned to my dormatory. I couldn't understand what kind of a college I had paid for. I was even more confused when I found out I had to share my dorm with 40 other people.

I decided I liked being able to move my arms more than I like to keep my 25 square foot cardboard box.

My next class was Mathematics. The class began with a this equation on the board:

5 x 6 + 2 = ?

I rubbed my hands together in excitement. This class was going to be really easy. Then the teacher came into the room. He looked at the board and then started laughing.

I looked around nervously. All the other students seemed really nervous too, all of them staring at the simple problem.

The teacher laughed for about 20 minutes, then took out an eraser. He stood in front of the class while erasing, tears still in his eyes from laughing so hard. Then he said something that made me about pass out.

"Don't worry guys, you won't have to learn anything this hard. Our first lesson is word problems."

So the entire class period was solving even simpler problems that were posed as "extremely difficult". For example:

A crack-head of your is hitt'n' a pawn shop. He put 2 dollars in his pockets and had 3 dollars in his hands when he left the place. How much cash did he have on him when the cops stopped him?

I was horrified at their answer:

None, foo. Only white boys leave the evidence on them when being chased by the po-po.

I put my hands in my pockets. I had 5 dollars. That was enough to convince me to get out of there as quickly as possible. I ran with all of my might and left the campus. I heard sirens and saw red and blue lights. I gave one last look behind myself and noticed the name of the college on a sign:

Ghetto / Hobo College: The Poorest Place in Town

I knew the police would have this place surrounded 24 / 7 with a name like that. So I decided that running on foot was not going to help me escape from the police, so I got on a bus. I would have gotten away.but the bus drive thought it was necessary to honk and scream at anybody she saw on the road.

The police caught up with me while the bus driver was screaming at the officers.

Now I'm in Jail. But, with a donation of $10 from 20,000 people, we can get me out on bail.

So donate now at


If you donate now with $100,000, we'll even send you a real-life picture of a car.

So what are you waiting for? You know the number! Just call!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Food without Substance

A serious science without elevating cornerstone as a sharer of knowledge. Lively and hungry, the applied 400 will next year agree to suspect its history. Surprising the year 1847 with its chemistry, he is the person who invented Baking Soda.

Rum lectures rise to the occasion of toasting glasses and bread. Mohammed's niece causes cheerios to form circles in cotton candy organisms. Concentration of dashboards will circumvent the current situations with aluminum. As the worlds of cooking and sidewalk combine, ingredients of another professor become underlined the media.

Investigation of postage stamps never come to the talk show of physics. I've never seen the next slide without the driving force behind assemblies of army ants. Puppet governments will never use Baking Soda on the strings of pickled solar systems. I will eat your children. Stand up for these long-haired Rolex Watches on my tomato stand without a cooking class. Preview the fiery homework played the consent on their backs.

Publicly, and shortly, the objectives of our interface microscopes drop off the labs. Heat bath of constant temperatures transfigured the pressure on edible, molten nirvana. Lizards on ice cannot circulate the newspaper viscosity.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

American Idiot Lyrics

So if you want to be an American Idiot

(guitar riffs)

Just don't comment on this blog. Yeah.

(guitar riffs)

So I guess I'm done posting this blog


'Cuz I'm running out of things to say.

So anyway, I'm currently working on a massive project. It's a secret right now.

But... because you're all my friends, I'll give you a hint:

It has to do with castrating unicorns.

OK, that's all the time I have for today. Bye.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

New One-Wheel Motorcycle!

I hope there's no such thing.

Speaking of crazy fools with busted heads, I'm looking at the potential Republican candidates. It's not looking good. I guess I'll have to run and show the Democratic and Republican losers who's boss.

Speaking of running, the police seem to get more confident recently. Just yesterday, they busted into my cardboard box and took my spare change that I was saving up. They called it "stolen money" just because it happened to have been in a cash register at one point. That's really not fair. I mean, it's not my fault that the money happened to be collected in one tiny little drawer easily accessible to any hobo off the street.

So after escaping from the piggies, I gathered some supplies for my next journey. The cool part was, I didn't have to walk very far. Nearby, there was a whole store of free food. But there was one catch: you could only keep the food if they didn't see you bring it out the door. So I had fun taking about half the store with my expert smuggling skillz.

So now I'm traveling to Pewter City to go get my first Police Badge from Rock.

The End

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Help Me

I need some help right now.

I have to go to the bathroom, and I can't without my cantelope.

If anyone has my cantelope with the knife and the nipple, please tell me. I'm desperate.

It has to be the ripe one, not the generic moldy kind.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Fancy Man with the Hat

One day, in Teletubby Land, justGeorge decided to wear a stupid hat.

So he tried.

But this was no ordinary, stupid hat. This was the magical-stoopid-person-with-no-brains-hat. This was a paradox. If justGeorge wanted to wear the magical-stoopid-person-with-no-brains-hat, he'd have to lose his brains. But this was simply impossible. His brains were immovable. They would not be budged.

Also, there was another dilemma: justGeorge's will was unstoppable. Therefore, it was impossible for justGeorge to NOT wear the hat. But, then again, it was impossible for justGeorge to wear the hat at all.

So justGeorge was in the middle of an only theorized situation: what would happen if an immovable force meets an unstopable object? Time seemed to slow to a crawl as justGeorge was about to put on the hat. Jeers and scorners stood from the sidelines and laughed at justGeorge.

"Ha! You don't have any brains, so you'll be able to put the stupid hat on!"

Another voice taunted him as well.

"It's impossible for your will to be so strong that you defy laws of physics!"

justGeorge would not listen to them. He had the determination of steel, (steel that actually has determination, and a lot of it, not just a lump of metal) and he wasn't backing down.

Just before the hat reached his head, justGeorge had a thought.

I could potentially destroy the world with my shenanegans. I need to sacrifice my will for the good of humanity.

But it was too late.

justGeorge was just one molecule of space away from touching the hat with his head.

Suddenly a bright light shown from heaven. Bruce Lee came down on the wings of angels and softly landed on the ground in front of justGeorge. Time froze in that instant. Helpless, justGeorge tried to pry himself from his current time-space but to no avail - he was trapped.

Bruce Lee scowled at justGeorge for even attempting something so foolish. After staring justGeorge down for what felt like thirty seconds (but was actually 0 seconds because of the time freeze) he kicked justGeorge in the face, and unfroze time.

justGeorge flew back 3.2754 meters and grabbed his head in pain. He had not expected that Bruce Lee would enforce his "no paradox" rule, but it was too late. justGeorge had already been kicked in the face.

But wait.

If Bruce Lee could stop time, couldn't he make himself go backwards in time as well? justGeorge hoped that this was true because he came up with another plan.

"Hey!" he shouted at the four-foot martial artist, "C'mere and do a backflip. That'll show you're a man, not kicking poor white guys."

Bruce Lee was enraged. He did a 30-flip backflip in the air. As justGeorge predicted, the world started to spin. Everyone's vision became blurry. The world faded out of view.

Suddenly the world was 30 seconds younger. justGeorge prepared himself. With one hand he still held the magical-stoopid-person-with-no-brains-hat and with his other hand he held it out like a fist. justGeorge started to put on the hat again.

As predicted, Bruce Lee decended from heaven, but in the same location that he did before. This was his mistake. Even though Bruce Lee stopped time, justGeorges fist was still suspended in midair, waiting to strike. Bruce Lee ran his face in justGeorge's fist.

Bruce cried out and let time flow normally. justGeorge ran off toward the mountains. But Bruce wouldn't let him go that easily.

Bruce did a 55-forward-flip in the air. Just before touching the ground, justGeorge saw his plan and stuck out his elbow. Suddenly 55 seconds of time disappeared in an instant. justGeorge was standing over Bruce Lee victoriously.

Bruce Lee had ran into justGeorge's elbow and had killed himself in a non-existant moment of time.

So technically Bruce Lee never died, but is dead right now.

justGeorge shrugged. T'wernt his problem to clean up the mess. Besides, he should have learned his lesson from martial arts movies: never cheat when fighting.

The End

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Stoopid Person

I like paper
It makes me happy

And I'm happy and I know it
So I'll clap my hands

Or stomp my feet
or shout hurray

But I'm not happy
Because I don't have paper

only a computer screen

Another justGeorge Poem dedicated to the Tooth Fairy

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Crazy Guy

So I was roaming on my road trip accross America to my lake house (that I claim is my aunt's) when I stopped at a gas station. When I exited from my Corvette, I saw a group of rednecked-gun-tote'n'-ruffians standing outside the door.

I tried to walk through them to get inside. One of them, the biggest of his kind, stopped me.

"Where do you think yer go'n'?"

I looked at the unusual man. He had a lumberjack jacket on with a bong hanging out of his mouth. He hadn't shaved ever since... never. His eyes looked like they were on fire... years ago. Now they were burnt out. I swallowed.

"I think I'm getting a coca-cola, because I enjoy its cold goodness as seen on its TV commercials."

He looked at the other guys.

"Listen, you're not getting into this here store without three challenges."

"Pshaw, only three challenges. For me, there should be... 5000 challenges!"

He squinted at me.

"There will be but one challenge... the ultimate arm wrestle! So... ya wanna rastle?

I squinted back. My answer was almost automatic. Of course I was ready. I could do 500 push ups, while one of the Keebler elves was watching TV on my back. I could do so many pull-ups that I could pull the bar down instead. I was ready. I answered him.


I turned and ran into my rich-person car and drove off, leaving a trail of dust behind me.

This story is NOT based on a real story about another person. NOR do hoboes have corvettes. I really LIKE to use capital LETTERS.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Final Countdown

A poem by justGeorge

The snow fell down
and I couldn't understand
why snow is falling
in the summer

The rain fell down
and the floods came up
But there wasn't even
a cloud in the sky

Oh, I forgot.
I'm watching a movie

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Crazy Foo

YOU are the crazy foo.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Mario Party 10: This time for the kill

Nintendo has just announced the release of Mario Party 10. Do I hear a-whooping and a-hollering coming from some obscure source? Because if YOU are the one who's cheering, then you are an idiot(too bad for I was cheering right then too).

Nintendo has not announced anything yet. I just lied. And it felt good.

Aren't I annoying?

Well, most of you people could care less how mario likes to party. So back to real news...

Obama has just released that he's NOT running for re-electin in 2012! I know! Surprising things are happening left and right (actually only on the left, but that's a different story).

I lied again.

Ah... good times.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

How Electricity Works

Simply put, electricity works like this:

If I have a coconut, then I'll go coo-coo for that coconut. Then I will convince myself that it is grrrrrreat (but it probably won't be). Eventually my love for this coconut will drag me into the mysticism of coconuts. I'll consider it a "lucky charm" and anyone who disagrees with me, I'd say "cheerio ol' chap!".

Or, if I have a coconut and if it's considered a fruit, then I'll throw it high in the air in a circular arc. This is commonly known as a "fruit loop" in which the coconut will fall and hit the head of a famous seafaring individual (in this case it is a ship captain). The captain's skull will be fractured after a horendous *crunch* sound emminates from his cranium cap. This will cause an outbreak of insanity within that individual and will get his Kix from being a cereal killer. His joy in Life would be to act kinda cookie krisps in the head (if you know what I mean). His various nicknames would include: "captian crunch" and "the nutty oat".

Or, the last possibility, this could happen:

Your coconut could act like a "crazy cow" and go all "ET cereal" and land on King Vitamin's head. Thinking that it is a "fruity pebble" would asssume that a "monster [cereal] has attacked him. So he'd send Mr. T, ET, The Ghostbusters, and Pac-man (all with their faces on boxes) to attack the neighboring kingdom of Quake to attack the passive-aggressive quakers, and their quangaroo animal friends. But stormy weather and a series of onimonipias stopped them from ever crossing the borders. With a *snap* *crack* and a *pop* the invasion was not successful.

And that's just a basic summary of electricity. If you want something a little more... insightful, this is not the place to look.


Friday, August 26, 2011

Pop-tarts are... my life!

Pop-tarts are... my death.

Woe is me. I am slain by the tarts of pop.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Checkers and Chumps


"King me!" justGeorge shouted at the top of his lungs, just to prove he was a winner.

"Sorry dude, you just jumped yourself and ended up on your side," the fat guy accross the table from him said, slightly annoyed.


"So that means your piece doesn't get to be king, so just make a legal move instead."

(justGeorge thinks about it for a while, then gets angry)

"Well if my piece doesn't get to be king, then YOU'LL be the one that's crowned," he pointed a gruby finger at the fat guy.

"What's dat supposed to mean?"

"It means you should let the stupid piece become a king... or else."

"Are you threatening me?!"

"Listen, I'M the one who's cheating so I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO SHOULD WIN!"

"Calm down, dude. You're getting way too into this game. Let's just play something else."

justGeorge shook his fist, a single vein bulged from his neck. "NO! NOW I INSTANTLY WIN!"
And in a moment of maniacal rage, picked up the wooden checkers board, and slammed it on the fat guy's head, breaking it in half. The fat guy ran to get the police, while justGeorge ran in the opposite direction.

justGeorge faded off into the night, leaving the sound of sirens behind him...


The fat guy was cleaning up the checkers, then noticed a note on the ground. He picked it up and read it. It said:

I still win, fatty.

The End

I got the blues real bad

Well, my account is being hacked again, and I can't actually write my own titles anymore. So, ignore any future titles to my posts until further notice.

So just yesterday I got really mad because I couldn't see my forehead.

Then I realized that if I saw my forehead, then I'd be a freak.

Then I was happy.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A circle

They say life is a circle, but I know better
Life is an oval and grandma's gift sweater

Because ovals are screwed up and the sweater is always ugly.

A simplistic and beautiful poem by justGeorge.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

A Post All About Charlie Brown

Wah wah wah wah.

Wah wah wah wah wah? Wah wah?

Wah, wah wah wah wah wah... Wah wah wah wah wah. Wah wah.

Monday, August 15, 2011


(to the tune of the Sesame Street Theme Song)

Sweeping your city away

On its way
To where the air isn't clean

Can you tell me how to get
How to get outta this place?

This has been an ashy day

No way
It's roasting, that's what I say

Can you tell me how to get
How to get some fresh air

Well, enough of that grotesque humor. I'm tired, and I want to go potty. So if you don't mind...

The End

Friday, August 12, 2011

Fruit Juice

Soap is good for you.

I am a Tuscan Raider.

Don't step on concrete without a toenail.

Spiders can't smell.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

150, that's a magic number

I sorta have 150 posts, depending on who you ask.

Hey, speaking of 150, I think I caught 'em all. But then I discovered that Mew exists in the game. Then I got angry and threw my gameboy against the wall. Unfortunately, I haven't been working out recently so it didn't break. But that was also a blessing in disguise. I was able to play the game some more and level up my Pokemon.

Hey, have you ever noticed that if you but a piece of scrambled egg on the ceiling,  it looks like a comet or a planet or something. So I took my entire meal of scrambled eggs and made a planetarium. Then I took some plastic astronauts and taped it to the ceiling as well, that way he's lost in space.

So, some of you were wondering how I got out of Doo Doo Doo Land. Well, it's a lot easier than I thought. All you have to do is get a different song stuck in your head. Then you can hum that. Right now I'm humming my own made up song. I'm sure you guys wouldn't want to - YOU WOULD? Ok. Here goes:

Chick'n cook'n' in da pot
A chick'n cook'n' in all da pots
I like chick'n, not smoking pot
A movie with chick'n has no plot

Boil that cabbage down
Bake those biscuits brown
The only reason you biscuits are burn'n'
is cuz you're sitting on the stove

She'll be comin' over dat mountain when she comes
She'll be comin' over dat mountain when she comes
She'll be eating dat mountain
Yeah, she'll be eating up dat mountain
She'll be chewing up dat mountain when she comes

Mary had a little spam
little spam
little spam

Mary had a little spam
with low quality meat
to eat

I was thinking about sending it to another record store, because I haven't heard back from the first one yet. I already have a name for it and everything. "The Country Road of Social Awareness" catchy isn't it?

Well, that's all the time I have for today. Apparently SOMEBODY doesn't like long posts. Well, whoever it is probably has a monotone voice and a little brother that beats him up.

The End

Monday, August 8, 2011

Well, so there I was... oops... this is the title, not the paragraph land.

Well, so there I was, this time fo real. I was standing eye-to-eye with the giant sea serpent. But even then I was not afraid for I am the great Flavio! Er, uh... I meant justGeorge, but you get the picutre. Just picture me as an awesome guy and you'll be right.

I must say, today has been an interesting day. First I was almost kidnapped by some pirates. But thankfully if you use ivory soap or something, they can stand you. Plus if you throw some Jack Daniels overboard, the pirates will swim after it.

Well, after avoiding the plank, I was abducted by space aliens. This was mostly because I had lied to their two spies, telling them that I was ol' Kickbutt George back in the day. I told them I use hedgeclipers to shave and a lawnmower to cut my hair. They were almost convinced to abduct me, but then like the good ol' country boy that I am, I mooned them. That settled it.

They sucked me into their spaceship and was about to enact biological revenge (by snatching my body and a few cows' to take over the world) but I pulled out my trusty harmonica and played the blues. I don't know what caused me to do so, but that's unimportant. The point is, the aliens HATE the blues. They actually turned blue in the face after listening to a few verses and fainted dead away.

I ran out of their spaceship in a hurry. But then I was run over by an out of season reindeer. The worst part of it however, is that some country bumpkins kept calling me ol' grandma justGeorge. Being a city dweller, I didn't take that lying down. I gave them all a city version of a noogie, then a knuckle sandwich.

Speaking of sandwiches, you should go buy McDonalds right now. That way, you won't have to read the rest of this post. Why don't you go do that? I'll wait.

No, don't worry I'm still waiting. Go on.


Ok, lets go.



Uh... you going anytime soon?





I don't have all day here.






Alright, so anybody that was going to McDonalds anyway has gone. Now, all you semi-not-fat people out there, listen up.

I've got a new vocabulary word for you to memorize:


It's a type of eyeball cancer only found in Spain. It's mostly because the rain in spain stays mainly on the plains. Plus, all that spanishy stuff that they do must cause an increase of radiation in the area. Speaking of radiation and mutants and mutany, have I ever told you the story of when I was kidnapped by pirates...?

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Doo Doo Doo Land

I'm trapped in Doo Doo Doo Land. Occasionally I'll - Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo - I'll break out in a song and hum a little tune. Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! Someone help me get out - Doo Doo Doo DOO DOO DOO! - of here. I need help!

Saturday, August 6, 2011


Guts Raticate

Item: Flame Orb

Ability: Guts

U-Turn / Quick Attack

Simply allow the burn to activate guts, then try to sweep. This little rat has enough power to catch people off guard and get a surprise KO or two.

Simply Annoying Raticate

Item: Focus Sash

Ability: Guts

Super Fang / Counter
Last Resort / Me First
Protect / Taunt

A lot of options here, and all gimmicky. Go with your heart or whatever.

Swords Dance Raticate

Item: Focus Sash / Flame Orb

Ability: Guts

Quick Attack / Pursuit
Sucker Punch
Swords Dance

Get a swords dance up by being lucky, then try to sweep. Priority moves are your friend.

Raticate, looking cool with only two teeth.
Raticate, a rat pokemon who's incredibly fast, can be fun to use, but is not bulky enough to use him in competitive battling. Then again, not many Pokemon are.
Raticate - it is what it is.


Once upon a time Lock was walking in the forest, collecting bugs, twigs, nuts, and leaves. Every time he got one, he felt the need to hold it in the air and display it to whoever was watching. One day an evil man named Canondorf obtained the Tripleforce of Brawn and spread darkness across the land. Then he kidnapped Princess Zeplin.

Lock had had enough. He used his Legendary Sword to defeat Canondorf and seal him away. Well, I just got a coolio thingamajig'n'thingo for myself. It was sorta for my birthday. Apparently if you tell someone it's your birthday, then steal their wallet, you'll end up with a lot more money than you had before. You might be able to get a few idiots to sing you a song before you rob them.

Speaking of criminal activity, I just farted. Now back to the Link parody story. I only told you this just to see if you're actually reading the whole post instead of the beginning and end. But Canondorf was powerful enough to break the seal after a few generations so he broke free. But another guy that looks like Lock defeated him anyway.

The End

Monday, August 1, 2011

Some where over the rainbow

This is  a song dedicated to all the happy people in the world.

Somewhere over the rainbow
And a gay pride parade

Resides a pot 'o' gold
Guarded by a leprachaun

Or so I've been told

Somewhere over the rainbow
And a forty day flood

Supposedly resting on a mountain
Lies a non-rotten ark

Or so I've been told

Somewhere over the rainbow
A pixilated wonder

In cyberspace somewhere
Rests a series of nonsense numbers that represent all the colors of the world

Or so I've made up

The End

Saturday, July 23, 2011

World Domination, to the extreme!

So, I just conquered the world and stuff. No big deal.

You guys out there in computer land probably haven't noticed. It's not like I placed any new burdensome laws on the populous or anything. All I've done is claim the land as my own. If you don't like it, there's another semi-spherical large object suspended in space very close to us. You can always move there.

So I'm sure a lot of you are wondering HOW I conquered this puny world. Well, it wasn't easy. I had to get out of my easy chair and wipe the Doritos crumbs off my chest. Then I had to make AND place a flag in the ground.

Afterwards, I was able to reap the rewards of complete control over the world. I would legally steal from the stores nearby, a privilege I have frequently used. And for added fun, Wal-mart and Sears have been sending security guards after me, just for me to whup their butts. Obviously they're trying to make by Dictatorship more fun. Although, I don't understand why the security guards keep calling me "thief".

Anywho, anywhat, anywhere, anywhen I've been improving the world around me. Recently I've been painting old shaby bridges, and improving the color in alleyways. The cool thing about my work though, is that people around me are recognizing my artistic abilities. They even name my work for me. Some of my most famous works are: Graffiti, Piece of Crap, Outrageous Display of Lack of Artistry, What Idiot Drew This, What the (censored) are you Doing ya Hobo, and finally Hey This is my Bridge.

Anyway, I've got a lot of Dictatory stuff to do, so I'll see you and my other subjects later.

Monday, July 4, 2011

I posted.

Announcement: I have posted

Next time I get kidnapped, I'll tell you guys. Until then, expect sporadic postings with a couple sentences.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Music Departmento

Recently I've been listening to some amazing music. There's this amazing rapper called Green M&M's.

He's the best non-minority rapper eva!

He's the one that wrote the last song on my last post last week.

Well, I'm out of time. Gotta go listen to some more music.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Great New Pokemon Songs

Lillipup, Lillipup, Lilli Lilli Lilli Lilli Lillipup....


Archeops fall'n' on my head....


And I was like,
Bagon, bagon, bagon oh!
Bagon Bagon Bagon no!
Thought you'd never evolve!


Baby you're a fire type...


Hey now!
You're a trainer, catch a Pokemon, go!
Hey now!
You're a battler, go fight.

All these losers along the road,
Only programmed in the game,



You toss me out, trainer out, right out
Like a Pokemon from a pokeball, right out....


Yeah, I told you once,
Now I told you twice
We gonna light this up,
With TM Flash....


Mary had an ampharos,
an ampharos
an ampharos

Mary had an ampharos
that used discharge in the water...


Jingle Bronzong
Jingle Bronzong
Jingle all the way...


We three forms of Burmy are
Using our hacked AR


I'm not afraid
to take Stunky!
It's really chunky!


Yeah, well. Enough of that.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Oh Bloop!

I'm a fish.

I'm swimming.

I'm eating.

I'm yanking.

I'm pulling.

I'm flopping.

I'm eaten.

-by justGeorge

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Pencil of DOOOOOM!!

justGeorge was writing down a 1-800 number from a stupid commercial when the red pencil ran out of ink. I put my pencil on the desk and got out the electric sharpener. Then I picked it up from my coffee table and started sharpening it by hand. But I didn't get to write down the number before the radio switched to a different commercial.

In a fit of rage, I threw my blue pencil on the wooden floor. But I decided to stop being so mad; I could get that toaster they were advertising for later. So I picked my yellow pencil from the shag carpet and started to write a story on my computer using word. However, while I was using paint, the power went out, instantly turning on my computer.

I was so mad that I threw the computer through the barred window, instantly shattering the amazing stained glass. From then on I had to borrow the my friend's computer from the library. While I was typing this blogpost from home, I walked to the store and bought another purple pencil. While I was walking back, I finished the story and published it on YouTube.

This made me think back to the stupid washer / dryer combo that was advertised for online, who's 1-866 number I couldn't remember. I smiled at the sad memories and sat down my couch. While sitting on my bed, I eventually fell asleep, daydreaming about waking up.

And that... is the most confusing story in the world.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Utter nonsense

Lorem ipsum vim ut utroque mandamus intellegebat, ut eam omittam ancillae sadipscing, per et eius soluta veritus.


Lovely idiots vigorously YouTube the mandates of intelligent bats. YouTube eats and omits the ancient sadists because of the solution of vertebrae.

That makes sense.

Eat more Chiken

You should eat birds and their eggs, just because you know there's no harm in doing so. Cows can kick yer butt. But birds will never get angry. I mean really, who's ever heard of Angry Birds?

Monday, May 23, 2011


Tinkle Wee-wee


Big Dump!

(Lights go back on)

"And that," he said turning off the projector, "is our new little kid show theme song. Whaddya think?"

(sound of a gunshot)

Sunday, May 15, 2011


I gots a nose.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Hi #10


Yossama Bin Bidin' His Time

Crazy things happen when people learn about the Middle East. Really. Today justGeorge learned about the true details on what happened with the Yomama Ben Ladden.

True, Yomama Ben Ladden is dead, but justGeorges has to inform you how he died. Listen carefully:

The day began with another video by Yomama. He always skyped the US Pentagon before eating breakfast. He wasn't very smart, assuming that the US couldn't catch him. All they had to do was look at his house number and find the address (even tents have house numbers over there).

Well, the Special Women's Arabian Team (SWAT) showed up, protesting Sharia law. Yomama was unprepared for the SWAT team to show up, so he did the smartest thing he could do in that case.

He ran.

Leaving behind his Wheaties Cereal (breakfast of champions) he dashed from his circus tent and out into the desert, with the angry woment close behind him. He ran until he came to an artificial river (courtesy of Allah). There he was trapped, or so everyone thought.

Instead, Yomama suprised everyone. He took out a staff from thin air, and waved it above his head. He muttered a few voodoo phrases pointed at the water. Suddenly the water parted! Yomama ran between the waves, thankful that he had been so lucky.

The mob behind him, along with the entire US Pentagon (they had finally had enough of Yomama's prank calls). So they started to chase him through the river. Unfortunately for all of them, this "miracle" was actually a natural phenomenon caused by radiation from Iranian Nuclear Power Plants. So, after a few seconds, the water returned and drowned all of them.

So that's what really happened, despite what the government's been telling you. Sure, they shot his body a few times for show, but he really drowned because he thought he was Moses.


? Has been cancelled

The government was nice and gave me back my blog post, after thoroughly editing it. But.... whatever. I'm happy with my propoganda and subliminal messages sent through to me by my television.


Apparently my post about Yomama Bin Ladden has been deleted. Whether this is by the government for being rediculously funny, or by someone hacking again is really unclear. Perhaps the government would be so kind as to give me back my awesome post...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Brand New Innovative Idea: Word Processor Company

justGeorge has decided to make a word processing company. I think I'll call it Macrosoft, after my great-grandpa or something.

I need a vice president. Contact me if ya want to become the second richest person eva.

Guest Post Thing

The sun rose up slowly over Semi-happy-people Land. The sunrise created a beautiful rainbow sky, glorifying gay pride in the most obvious way (apparently the Sun God was Greek). The birds were singing without being autotuned, and thus unable to compete in the music industry. The citizens of Semi-happy-people Land were waking up, and they weren't happy about it.

One of the most angry of these semi-happy people was a man by the name of Crazy Bob. Crazy Bob was always angry about something. If the air had too much oxygen in it, he would get angry at that. If there were too many fish in the ocean, he would get angry over that too.

So pretty much he was always angry.

This day was no exception. Today Crazy Bob was angry about being angry. So he decided to take his anger on pedesrians as he drove to work.

Listening to the soft thumping sounds beneath his tires eventually got on his nerves, so he turned on the tunes. Unfortunately, the station was playing rap music, and Crazy Bob did not like rap (It's mostly because the people that rap talk too fast, and he can't understand them.). So Crazy Bob turned off his radio and decided to walk to work instead.

Later that day, Crazy Bob showed up to his job as a construction worker. The foreman noticed he was late, but decided to confront Crazy Bob about it later.

So Crazy Bob started working on the plumbing for the new house that was being put up. Unfortunately for him, someone had turned on the whole plumbing system without him knowing it. So now, if anyone were to flush the toilet in the house, it would of course shoot through the system of tubes and spray the unlucky victim who was close to the nearest open tube.

Well, I'm sure all of you non-idiots know how this is going to turn out.

So Crazy Bob was busy connecting pipes when one of the other pipes happened to be pointing toward him. Suddenly the pipe started shaking. It was almost as if something large and disgusting was shooting out.

All of a sudden from the pipe out popped........ Super Mario! (what else were you expecting?)

Mario shouted something in a foreign language (a mixture of italian and japanese, I think) and jumped on Crazy Bob's head. Then he ran back down the pipe.

Crazy Bob was enraged, mostly because he was a racist and hated italian people that were taking his american jobs. So, in an attempt to keep his job security ran after him. Just as Super Mario went down the tube, Crazy Bob got there. Crazy Bob was only a few seconds away from catching him.

Crazy Bob peered down the pipe. It was empty. It was almost as if Super Mario had used the pipe to instantly teleport himself to another land.

But while Crazy Bob was gawking at the supernatual phenomenons that are common in video games, a large quantitiy of sewage traveled throught the pipe and sprayed Crazy Bob in the face.

This made Bob go bananas. He grabbed a hammer from his trusty tool chest and started brandishing it like a lunatic. He jumped on top of a stack of cardboard boxes. With fire in his eyes and a large hammer in his hands, he shouted, "STOP!"

The workplace came to a halt, and all eyes were on the maniac who had placed himself dangerously high on cardboard boxes.

Crazy Bob, eventually convinced that he had the attention of his co-workers continued shouting, "Hammer time!"

Then he jumped down from several feet in the air, prepared to start attacking people. Thankfully, Crazy Bob did not survive the jump. He died as soon as he hit the ground. (Normally this jump wouldn't have even hurt an infant, but Crazy Joe was just a weakling.)

So everyone gathered together, held hands and sang silly songs (with Larry).

So Semi-happy-people Land was renamed Happy-people Land. And everyone lived happily ever after, until the next day.


Make sure to give me lots of attention for posting this. I like attention.
I guess this post will also be on someone else's blog. Cool beans, farts and all.

Extra Special People's Noses

This is broadcast, paid for by Extra Special People's Noses (ESPN). justGeorge and his affiliates had nothing to do with this blog post thingy.

Have you ever noticed a person with an ugly nose? Have you ever wanted to help all of the people with large nostrils? Do you believe that your nose is what makes you amazing?

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you have a responsibility to the rest of the general population. Remember what Smoker the bear says: Only you can prevent ugly noses.

Come on down to Eugenics Inc. to donate your Aryan nose. There we will be able to donate your nose to science and random people we find on the streets.

Remember: this is completely voluntary. You don't have to live anymore, but we recommend that you do.

This advertisement has been paid for by ESPN. The budget was being cut and we had to resort to dubious advertising.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


Choice Banded Pidgeot

Ability: Tangled Feet

Item: Choice Band

Brave Bird
Quick Attack

Annoying Bird

Ability: Tangled Feet

Item: Leftovers / Lax Incense

Mud Slap
Double Team

Facade Bird Thing

Ability: Tangled Feet

Item: Toxic Orb

Brave Bird

Never a commonly used bird, Pidgeot stays in other birds' shadows. The only reason to possibly use this guy is to use him in double battles and have your partner use swagger on it, thereby using its ability and decent attack stat. I always recommend annoying your opponent instead of attacking their Pokemon if you want to use a piece of shingle like this. This is what Big Bird would like if he were forced to battle: a failure.

Rubber Band

There's a new gang in town. It goes by the name of The Band of Rubber, aka The Rubber Band. This group of ruthless scalawags terrorize the neighborhoods with their tire swings.

Around the turn of the most recent millennium, a group of annoying teenagers decided to join together and do mischievious stuff, such as vandalize people's property, encourage violence, and steal ice cream from little children.

The only thing stopping this group of zit-infested miscreants from ruining the property value the town is Ma Fia's gang... and justGeorge. But... mostly the latter.

In fact, the group disbanded shortly after its creation. After justGeorge beat their leader in a Pokemon battle, they broke up faster than a band with two lead singers.

A couple news stations asked him how he found the courage to fact Johnny Boy (the gang leader) mono y mono. He had this to say:

"Uh... I had to whup up on the last gym leader in order to reach the elite four. I just wanted to beat the game."

It is not known why beating someone in a Pokemon battle would cause a gang to disband, but at least the world was rid of one more gang. Now if only justGeorge would set his eyes upon Ma Fia's gang, then the world would finally be at peace.

Friday, May 6, 2011


I love my hair
Yes, I dare
It has so much flair
It will always stay there

I love my lips

Oh look at the time.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Aesop's Hidden Fables, well one of them

Once upon a time there lived a lion that would often eat creatures of the jungle. This lion terrorized the population, allowing a system of hierarchy to form which conveniently placing the lion on top. As King of the Jungle, he would eat random residents purely for the sake of survival.

One day, he came upon a porcupine. The porcupine, unaware of the lion's presence, was casually existing. The lion, confused by the porcupine's arrogant attitude, confronted it.

"Why do you exist near me? I never gave you permission to live!"

The porcupine, seeing that the lion was a dumb beast, decided to play a trick on the lion.

"Well, Mr. Lion, I'm just here to show you the error of your ways. I have some command you need to follow."

"Huh?" the lion muttered in a confused state.

"I've been existing, waiting for you to show up. I need to tell you something: you are not allowed to eat me. You are allowed to bound around the jungle and roar all you want, but you are not allowed to chew and swallow me."

The lion, seeing this as an attack on his authority, dove upon the prickly shrew-thing. The porcupine was immediately eaten on the spot. This was not what the little guy had anticipated, but it was too late. Apparently reverse-reverse psychology does not work on jungle animals.

At least the lion got what he deserved. He was unable to poop out the porcupine later and died of intestinal problems.

The moral of this story is obvious. If you are incredibly stupid, scroll below for the moral.

Keep scrolling.

Keep going.

Almost there.

Just a little further....

Wow. I can't believe you've just admitted that you're stupid. I don't need to tell stupid people the morals of Aesop's Fables.

Stupid person.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Lon Lon Ranch

I was playing mini golf happily. I had just gotten a hole in one. It didn't even matter if I put the ball in the wrong hole. All that mattered was that I was winning. I had breezed past all of the weirdos, each of them terrible golf players. I'd seen their score cards. I was ahead of all of them by at least 50 points each.

I was whistling my favorite racist tune of "Zip Dee Do Dah" to myself, minding my own business. Then all of a sudden, an ugly person stood in front of me. I screamed in horror.

His face looked freakish, like an alien or something. He had two eyes, each having the same color. His nose had two nostrils which sucked in air like a vacuum. His hands had four fingers and a thumb. None of his fingers were the same length, and they seemed to move independently. His ears were on opposite sides of his head, and were around the same size.

He opened his mouth, as if to speak, but all that came out were nonsensical English statements.

"Ya know yer not supposed to touch deh ball with your hands, right? Yer supposed to use deh golf club."

Then I realized he was just a run-away clown. He was trying to entertain me with his gibberish. I was going to walk away laughing, but then a funny thought came in to my head. What if I captured this clown and used him as my personal entertainer?

I laughed maniacally at this wonderful thought. Then I started muttering to myself about funny clowns. The ugly freak started to show signs of confusion. I decided to act now before this clown ran again. So I decided to trick the funny guy to getting into my stalker car.

"Hey, buddy. Ya want some candy? I got some nice candy in the car."

The freak just stared at me, like I had just said something rediculous. I decided to try something else. I started shouting as if I were advertising for something.


Suddenly I was stamped and trampled underfoot by a crowd of crazy people. They all piled into my black van, all chattering excitedly about savings.

I closed and blockaded the doors to my van. Then I painted the whole thing bright colors and put the words: "Circus of Freaks" on it. Then I drove around the city, collecting money from curious people. I would park the van and let all of the little boys and girls look inside. Everyone would laugh and point at the idiots inside.

After making millions on my freak show, I let the people go and ran off into the sunset, carrying fake million-dollar bills in my pocket.

In case you haven't noticed, the story had nothing to do with the title. I just decided to go with the first set of words that popped into my head.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Chuck Norris vs. Ninja

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

In the beginning, the world was without form. The only thing that existed was Chuck Norris.

One day, Chuck Norris said, "Let there be fight, and there was fight." And Chuck Norris saw the fight, and saw that it was good. A ninja had appeared, suspended in space.

Then Chuck Norris said, "Let there be a battlefield," and the Earth came to be.

Then Chuck Norris said, "Let there be water, food and air to keep this ninja alive." then there was.

Then Chuck Norris rested, because creating the universe is very difficult. But he had succeeded in beating God at forming a universe, it took him only three days to complete it. God had taken six. But, God didn't mind too much that he was beaten. After all, he didn't want to make Chuck Norris angry.

So Chuck Norris prepared himself for his battle with the ninja. Training night and day, he made perfection even more perfect. (This is the only time this has ever occured in history, beating perfection.)

After a few days of training, he was ready.

The ninja and Chuck Norris stood across from eachother in the middle of the battlefield.

The battle began.

Chuck Norris grabbed a book from his trusty backpack and started reading it outloud.

"Instead of turning on the lights, I turn off the dark."

"I'm not afraid of the dark, it's afraid of me."

"I don't wear a watch, I decide what time it is."

"I put the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'"

"I can drown a fish."

"Only I can unscramble an egg."

"My blood type is AK-47."

"I can make a snowman out of rain."

"I don't cheat death, I win fair-and-square."

"I don't only eat nails, I grocery shop at Home Depot."

"I even beat the sun in a staring contest!"

Suddenly the ninja was in front of him. With lightning speed, Chuck Norris was on the ground writhing in pain.

Chuck Norris sat up, confused.

"Who are you?" he asked.

The ninja took off his mask. Chuck Norris gasped and muttered to himself, "Of course... shoulda known..."

The ninja was Bruce Lee.

From that day forward, Chuck Norris decided to allow God to create the humans and animals, just cuz slow 'n' steady wins the race to God-ness.

Chuck Norris became a semi-mortal from that day forward. Living in Cerulean Cave, he awaits a worthy challenger.

Jokes are courtesy of this website:

I really couldn't have remembered that many jokes anyway.


Gimmick Beedrill

Ability: Sniper

Item: Red Card / Focus Sash

Toxic Spikes

Attacking Beedrill

Ability: Swarm

Item: Life Orb / Focus Sash

Poison Jab
Swords Dance
Toxic Spikes

Pure Poison Beedrill

Ability: Sniper

Item: Black Sludge

Toxic Spikes

The biggest draw for Beedrill is Toxic Spikes, and its ability to poison the opponents whole entire team if Beedrill is your lead. Don't hesitate to slap some gimmicks on this guy, throw off the competition. Training should concentrate on speed for this one. A slow Beedrill is a dead Beedrill. It's a good idea to give him a Focus Sash, just so that this bug isn't swatted away too quickly.

E = mc^2

I've just discovered how to use this equation in everyday life. First I will explain what it means.

The "E" stands for emmortality. Y'know, there are the mortals and the emmortals. Emmortality is goal of mortals.

"M" stands for mystery. This is just a variable you can plug into the equation.

"C squared" stands for the volume of any magical cube.

So, if we were to apply this to everyday living, we would have a lot of emmortals. Never again shall we die, as long as if we have a magical cube (with a defined volume) and know the mystery.

I have both the knowledge and the cube. Nothing can stop me now.

How does this apply to your everyday life? Well, now you are all under my control. Nothing can defeat me. So, starting this very moment, you all are going to collect Pokemon cards for me and put them in a nice, neat pile for me to eat. (I do get nutrition from cards, it's a stomach condition called cardalactix)

Then, I decree that everyone will declare bankruptcy and give me all of their possessions. That way I can evenly distribute all of the wealth. Thereafter, I will create the ideal utopia, making everyone live in peace.

Anyone who challenges me... well... there's not much I can do. Just because I'm emmortal doesn't mean I'm immortal.


Well, I guess I'll go play video games until everyone starts giving me free stuff.

Friday, April 29, 2011


Basic Butterfree

Ability: Compound Eyes

Item: Focus Sash

Bug Buzz
Sleep Powder
Quiver Dance

Sweeping Butterfree

Ability: Tinted Lens

Item: Life Orb

Bug Buzz
Sleep Powder
Quiver Dance

Choice Scarf Butterfree

Ability: Compound Eyes

Item: Choice Scarf (duh)

Stun Spore
Sleep Powder

The increased accuracy with Compound Eyes is extremely helpful. In fact, Tinted Lens helps as well, making it difficult to switch against. Generally Butterfree is a status monster, and perhaps boost her stats to rediculous levels with Quiver Dance. Her base stats make her unusuable without being in a low-tier league or just being lucky. Have fun with this little butterfly, see what you can do with it.


Basic Special Attacker Blastoise

Ability: Rain Dish

Item: Leftovers

Surf / Water Spout
Ice Beam
Focus Blast / Hidden Power (electric)
Rain Dance

Physical Blastoise

Ability: Torrent

Item: Life Orb / Choice Band / Cell Battery

Ice Punch

Wobbuffet Imitation Blastoise

Ability: Rain Dish

Item: Leftovers

Mirror Coat
Aqua Ring / Dive / Rapid Spin
Rain Dance

Blastoise. How unfortunate that he has to use firefighting equipment to even survive on the field. It can't really tank anything that's well-prepared. It can't strike too much fear in the opponents' hearts. It can survive a non-supereffective attack, and hopefully attack again. Ah... if only one of its stats stood out.

Thursday, April 28, 2011


Ecofriendly Solar-powered Charizard

Ability: Solar Power

Item: Heat Rock

Flamethrower / Heat Wave / Fire Blast / Overheat
Air Slash
Sunny Day

Tribal Belly Drummer Charizard

Ability: Blaze

Item: Salac Berry

Fire Punch
Belly Drum

Do anything to dish damage Charizard

Ability: Blaze

Item: Life Orb / Focus Sash

Counter / Thunder Punch

Charizard, still cool looking. Awesome shiny form. For a starter, it's pretty good. It's not like Infernape, but it's in good shape. Besides, it's got Belly Drum. Maybe you'll get lucky and be able to set up the monster (though it rarely works). No one expects Counter on Charizard. You can score quite a few suprise KO's with counter (and a focus sash).


Stall Venusaur

Ability: Chlorophyll

Item: Black Sludge

Leech Seed
Sludge Bomb / Sleep Powder

Stat Stalling Venusaur

Ability: Overgrow

Item: Black Sludge

Double Team / Leech Seed

Physical Venusaur

Ability: Chlorophyll

Item: Life Orb

Seed Bomb / Power Whip
Sleep Powder / Outrage
Swords Dance

Special Venusaur

Ability: Chlorophyll

Item: Life Orb

Leaf Storm
Sludge Bomb
Hidden Power (rock)
Sleep Powder

Generally Venusaur can be fun to use. Not especially shining, (except luck sleep powder attacks) giving him gimmick moves often. Leaf Storm is your most powerful move to consider. If only this guy could learn Toxic Spikes, it'd become kinda cool. Right now, he's just a walking fruit.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hi (again)


Time for me to do my cool prophesy thing!

I predict that tomorrow the sun will come up. Then it will become brighter. Then the sun will slowly disappear in the opposite direction. Then it will become darker.


The sound a bug makes when it flies around.

I just thought that the "Bug" category of my blog was getting lonely.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Fluffy Land

Once upon a time there was a magical kindom called Fluffy Land. In this land, little mareeps roamed free. The magikarp were flopping around, undisturbed. The muks slopped around in the sewers. The clefaries bounced, saying their name a lot. A pikachu was zapping a crazy team of spacemen (Team Rocket I think they're called?). The Glooms smelled everthing up, and the geodudes levitated on some sort of mysterious energy (even though they weigh 44.2 lbs or 20.0 kg while only being 1'4" or .4 meters tall).

The squirtles swam in swampy streams. The charmanders checked choice chimichongas for chicken chili chunks. The bulbasaurs baked broken biscuits bitterly.

That is until one day...

A shadow stretched over the land, crushing everything in its path. Its name... was Snorlax.

After snacking on Snickers, Snorlax snoozed. While dreaming about hating everyone, it was tossing and turning in its sleep. This would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that Snorlax was crushing the cute, innocent little mareeps around him.

Unable to ignore this large problem, they attempted to escape. That's when things got crazy.

Snorlax started sleepwalking, stealthfully and sneakily stalking the stuck sheep. The little lambs lalloped, not liking the liability of their laughable lives. Too bad. Snorlax struck and stamped the stampeding sheep, shutting off their spinal system, squashing the small shreds of survivability too easily snatched.

At least, that's what happened in Snorlax's dream. Under the dilusion that it was being under attack, it dreamed that it squished Mary's little lambs. But what really happened was this:

Snorlax snuggled in, smiling. Suddenly Snorlax screamed and scratched and slashed the scared sheep. The maurauding mareeps masterfully made the monster miss. The result was a raging ruffian rat, running after the rediculously rare ruminants.

But, after a few steps he got tired and went back to sleep. Later the round rascal rambled regarding the running ruminants, regurgitating rediculous rants. Luckily, the little, lovable lamps lived longer than the lard-lake.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Ye Olde Ma Fia

Ma Fia grabbed her trusty sniper rifle and aimed it from the window. The target: justGeorge.

She squinted in the distance then continued to stare through her scope. She bit her lip in concentration. If this failed, she would have to use extreme measures.

justGeorge waddling around his cardboard box as if he had nothing better to do. He was grinning happily and muttering to himself something about fiber. With random, jerky movements he would travel around his home in unusual zig-zag patterns. This would make it almost impossible for him to be hit accurately, even for an expert sniper like Ma Fia.

"That fiend," she muttered under her breath, still trying to aim the rifle, "Try and steal MY publicity will ya? I'll teach you soon enough."

She grabbed the nearest bag of potato chips, ripped it open, then poured it contents into her giant mouth.

Then, with her mouth full of food (don't be this impolite at home, kids) she said, "There's only room for one shoplifter in this town. Besides, there's a huge bounty on your head and it's growing by the second."

Then she laughed, spraying spittle and unhealthy snack food everywhere.

Meanwhile, justGeorge was burning some trash, and talking to himself again.

"Y'know, I think you're the best thing since sliced bread, justGeorge."

"Well, I'm not going to disagree with you. It's never been proven that's anyone greater as of yet."

"How do you do it, justGeorge? I mean, you own, you pwn, and you phone the White House. There's got to be some sort of secret you possess that makes you greater than the rest."

"There is no secret. I've just got skillZ (with a capital z that rhymes with p and that stands for pwn)."

"Wow. The rumors are true."


"Yeah, rumors that you are Chuck Norris' son."

"Heh, justGeorge, I'm not Chuck Norris' son, I'm one of Chuck Norris' two weaknesses (the other being Bruce Lee)."



Suddenly a shot is heard around the world. Slowed down like the Matrix, justGeorge dodges the sneak attack by Ma Fia. Easily dodging the bullet and all of the debris, he dashes off with his cardboard box. Screaming profanities behind him, he rushes off to another part of town to be a crazy person in peace.

Ma Fia screams like a banshee and starts firing wildly, hoping to hit one of her greatest enemies by luck. Too bad she has only bad luck (and justGeorge has all of the good luck). All of her shots missed their target.

However, she did manage to fire a bullet at a nearby building (Irony Inc.) which bounced off the side of it and straight back toward Ma Fia. This bullet hit the chandelier, making it fall. This sent off a chain reaction, sending one of her throwing knives to hit the security alarm button. This instantly made all of the windows start to close.

Ma Fia was hanging out of the window at the time. She tried to go back inside, but realized she was stuck too late. She was too fat to go back inside. The window closed on her, trapping her there for the next couple of hours. She was able to escape with the help of a few of her connections, scathed but not scarred.

She vowed to someday finish the job she had started. This time, using her secret weapon...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'm Stuck

I've been in the Molasis Swamp for 38 turns. There seems to be no way out. I'm giving up. I want the game to end. I just want it all to end. I want to end the terrible suffering, waiting for a stupid yellow card.

I was so close to victory too. If only I hadn't had such bad luck... If only I had cheated in this child's game...


My stupid blue person is standing there smiling like an idiot. I HATE HIM. I hope he stays there for all I care. Why does he have to stand there with his arms stretched out like a gingerbread man smirking at me?

(signs that justGeorge is on the verge of mental breakdown)


(grabs the blue character and snaps it in half)

There. Now I win. No one can take away my victory now. I was the closest. So I win.

(laughs maniacally)

What are ya gonna do now, Princess Lolly? Huh? Watcha gonna do? OoooOOOooh I'm so scared.

(laughs and runs off, leaving the gameboard behind)

I'm the winner! I'm the winner! Me! Me!

(suddenly collects himself, walks back to the game, and picks up the red character)

Well, I guess I'll just play for second place.

(grabs a card, then moves)

Heh, this is kinda fun. I think I'll.... uh oh.

(realizes that the red character is now in the Molasis Swamp as well)

(starts swearing)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Tum Tum Tree

Y'know, 'twas brilliant, and the lithe tombs did wire and grumble in waves. All flimsy were the burrow-groves and the blue grass outrage.

Just thought you should know, in case anyone asks you.

Do you know how the security at airports always ask you whether or not someone's given you a mysterious package? Well, one time I calmly explained that a guy in a trench coat gave me a package to carry on the plane.

Then I pulled out my jack-in-the-box and startled everyone there.

Apparently the security guards can't take a joke.

They must have had a traumatic experience with a jack-in-the-box as a child. It certainly wasn't my fault that their alter-ego, Batman was afraid of Jokers.

I'm done complaining. After searching through my stuff and finding about 80 pounds of marijuana in my suitcase, I had to pull off another throw-a-chair-out-the-window-and-jump-out-right-after-it-escape-plot. It didn't really require that much planning.

Ahh... just thinking about this story brings back bitter-sweet memories. It brings in the thrill of escaping the law again, and the bitter memory of losing hundred of thousands of dollars of drugs again.

On the plus side, I was able to easily harvest some more from old farmer Maggot right outside Hobbiton. He's a nice guy... a little ugly, and has a very large temper (especially when I steal his stuff), but generally an all-around nice guy.

Hey.... my teeth feel funny.

Mmmmm.... my teeth are tasty.

Daff duff gwate. I guff aye mah feef. Mao ooh won be abuh duh uduhfam me.

(uses rewind button)

Ahh... that's better. Now what was I saying before...?

Oh yeah!

The End

Monday, April 11, 2011

Another Dumb Post


Friday, April 8, 2011

Black Friday, Rebecca Black Friday

Seven AM and I wake up to a new day.
Look out my window and realize it's raining

Get drenched and wait at the bus stop
My friends in their car are driving...


It's Friday, Friday. Had to get up on Friday
Then I'll work at Party 'n' Party USA


Bus was twenty minutes late, got a cold too
Teacher counted me tardy cuz she hates her life

For lunch I had toxic waste, for gym I had to run all day
Had to serve two detentions at the same time!

Can I handle all this strife?

Too bad it's

Friday, Friday. Had to get up on Friday.
There's no party'n' (cheer)
No party'n' (cheer)
No party'n' for a whole 'nuther week!

Cuz I'm serving 60 detentions for being late one time!

And it's

Friday, Friday. Had to get up on Friday.
There's no party'n' (cheer)
No party'n' (cheer)
No party'n' for the rest of my life.

This is not actually a parody of "Friday" by Rebecca Black. Please don't assume that is true. I legit wrote this a couple years before. Also, the word "gullible" is written twice in this song.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Hum Tum

Well nothing much to say here. I'm just writing this so that I won't be bored. Maybe I'll talk about something cool like bubbles... yeah I think I'll do that.

As soon as I'm a crazy person.

But I'm not a crazy person.

(twitch) (short seizure)

Well. That's the end. I'm running out of ideas or something. Maybe I'll do another story about running away from the law soon, as soon as I get the rights to do so.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Something Special Just fo Meeeee

Under a log I waited... waited... waited. My meal was grazing in the pasture, not moving much at all. So I continued waiting.

Several intense hours passed without event. My neck was getting stiff and my arms were getting tired from crouching. But I could not give in to weakness. I waited...

After a couple more hours of waiting for my meal to move, I got tired. So I suddenly pushed the log asside and ran out to meet my food.

The donut sat there as if it weren't alive. I was too smart for that. If it gave nutrients, it must be alive somehow, and if it is alive it can move. It was trying to play dead.

I jumped upon it with lightning speed. Unfortunately, lightning never strikes the same place twice (because it's really bad at aiming). So missed and was sent tumbling down the hill.

"Think yer so smart, do ya?!" I shouted at it.

I ran up the hill and tackled the beast. Still pretending to be dead it laid there in my hand. I didn't give it time to fight back. With one swift motion I popped the creature into my mouth, and swallowed it like a snake (without chewing).

I gave a gorrilla yell at my triumph. I beat my chest like a lunatic and began the donut dance (which consists of me going in circles until I got dizzy).

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, more than 20 police men surrounded me from the undergrowth. I started to panic.

"No! My donut! Not yours! Get yer own! I STOLE this! It's MINE!!!"

I ran, trying to break the circle of piggies. They shouted something about Operation RedRover. They all suddenly locked arms. I dove under their arms and ran as fast as I could.

Then I hid behind a vending machine. So I waited until they stopped looking for me. So I waited.... waited... waited...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Look! Free Money!

I thought I'd post something about money. The money categorie on the side bar was getting lonely, so I helped it out. Make sure not to comment.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Ma Fia's Travel's (One more time!)

Old Ma Fia's at it again. This time she went and stole a garbage truck. She was immediately caught when she was using it as a transportation device for over 5,000 pounds of marijauna.

The police tried to arrest her, but couldn't find any handcuffs big enough to go around her wrists. While calling the headquarters for some suggestions, the police officers were eaten on the spot.

Ma Fia delivered her goods that afternoon with a smile, like a good employee for the Gangsta Inc.

This garbage truck is now hidden in a trailer park, disguised as a trailer. Ma Fia didn't even need to do anything to it(except put some weeds around it).

So the search continues...

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Hello Cat

Once upon a time there was a cat named Hello Cat. Everyday as she walked to the grocery store everyone would say, "Hello, Cat!".

Hello Cat led a happy life, full of flowers, frolicing, and fun. Too bad good things never last.

One day an evil wizard named Hello Human came along. It took in the stray cat and put her in his castle. Then he put her in some witch's brew as a wart remover.

The End

Friday, March 18, 2011

100 is a magical number

I have wrote a poem about the number 100. I will paraphrase my own work. It goes a-something like this:

One Hundred is a Number by justGeorge

One hundred is a number that is really nice
One hundred is a number that won't give you lice

One hundred is a number that does not wear pants
One hundred is a number that won't eat my plants

One hundred is a number that is plain to see
One hundred is a number hee hee hee

One hundred is a number dee doodlee doo
One hundred is a number and I made a big poo

One hundred is a number, not a chicken fajita
One hundred is a number working at the diner like Juanita

One hundred is a number I think I am rambling
One hundred is a number I always win when I'm gambling

One hundred is a number that is true
One hundred is a number I love you

One hundred is a number this is a hidden message
One hundred is a number the acces code to the building is

One hundred is a number the following numbers in this order:
One hundred is a number your nephew's age multiplied by two

One hundred is a number the year you were a freshman at college
One hundred is a number my favorite prime number

One hundred is a number and finally the last copyright date on my favorite book
One hundred is a number and now, back to the stupid poem

One hundred is a number, not a turtleneck sweater
One hundred is a number, though one hundred and one is better

One hundred is a number a train goes choo choo
One hundred is a number a baby goes goo goo

One hundred is a number, as you can see
One hundred is a number hee hee hee

Isn't that poem amazing? I'm thinking about quiting my day job as a hobo and become a poet (they're practically the same thing, only poets are more emotional). Well, now that I've just wasted your time with an extrememly long poem that had no meaning at all, I think I'm going to type an extremely long sentence to complement it; and by doing so, I will have wasted even MORE of your time; that's how evil I am; I'll use semi-colons instead of periods when I think applicable; this makes me TRIPLE evil; nay, I am INFINITE TIMES EVIL, according to this sentence that I should probably end by now; so I think I will end it; so there you go; it's ended.

Oh by the way, this was my 100th post.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Vegetables of Wrath

A long, long time ago in a country far away...

Joey McCrazy was sitting watching TV. He had his laptop in his lap (one that he supposedly used to research churches for, but y'know what he REALLY used it for). On the table beside him was his trusty remote control for the TV and his Sprite. He had a stupid grin on his face, a twisted, vile-looking grin that sent shivers down one's spine.

His little children had grown up into annoying teenagers, his own body was changing faster than the teenagers' though. His legs became useless, his mind a slush of disjointed worms. The only part of his body that could be used for anything was his vocal cord, which he strained day and night from yelling all of the time.

He often shouted at the most stupid things, though mostly he shouted commands at his children, yelling at them to help him with simple tasks he could easily have done.

"ZEKE!" he would shout annoyingly, though his son was only a couple of feet away, surfing the web. "ZEKE! I NEED YOU TO HAND ME THE REMOTE!"

His son looked at him, and furrowed his brow.

"You mean the remote that's right on the table that's easily within your grasp?" he asked in a meloncholy voice.


Zeke fought back tears and handed the stupid remote to the crazy guy. Then he turned an ran into his room, only stopping long enough to log himself out of facebook.

Joey McCrazy looked, slightly startled. He hadn't expected anyone to show emotion around him. But, he saw the commercials were over and his favorite TV show was on, so he ignored it.

"Stupid kid," he muttered to himself, "I'll have to remember to yell at him later."

The next couple of hours were extremely awkward for Zeke. He sat in his room, wishing that he had Allen's dad.

Allen's dad was the best dad on Earth. The worst thing he's ever done is swore one time when he leg was ripped off. He regretted what he said immediately, was chastised by the priests, and hail-maried a few times. This was his only sin, the only reason he needed God.

Zeke sat and waited in his room for a while until he heard an annoying voice from downstairs.


Zeke slowly walked downstairs, fighing tears. Joey McCrazy was still sitting there, but that's not really that suprising (the only time he ever got up was to punch a kitten, kill some Jewish people, or go to the bathroom. He never ate. His nourishment was hatred.)

Zeke suddenly had a brilliant idea.

He suddenly pulled out a Pokeball and captured his father. Joey McCrazy was caught and never let out of the Pokeball.

Is this realistic? No. It was the only simple solution to this problem I could think of. Too bad there are no happy endings to s*** like this.

The best plan is to just endure it. Yes, most of the time your parents are wrong. That doesn't mean that you're right though. Try not to hold any long-term grudges. Just forget about them after you're gone.

To hate someone is to give them a little victory. They will always be in your memory and in this way they will live forever to haunt you. Don't let them survive (poetically speaking).

Often situations are blown out of proportion. You can always find someone better off than you, but you can always find someone worse off too.

Try to endure what you can, ignore what you can't.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Donuts and Dumbells

Once upon a time there was a guy who really loved donuts. It was his life, his passionate wives, and his only reason for living.

One day his doctor told him to lose some weight. You see, over the years, he accumulated jiggly fat faster than a rolling stone gathering fans (grass or whatever; its supposed to be symbolic or something). Every year he gained 50 pounds for 20 years. The question is: how much did he weigh if he started at 150 pounds?

Well, he broke the scale, so a little math had to be used.

Unfortunately, no one in the medical profession can solve word problems. So they guessed he weighed approximentally 30 pounds or so.

Thankfully no one was sued for malpractice.

Anyway, this guy decided to give up donuts and lift weights. This was his Valentine's Day Resolution.

The going was tough, but he stuck with it. He finally was able to THINK about quiting the donuts. He even lifted a dumbell (it was in his way). Then he suddenly gave up his dream of losing the donuts habbit.

His friends encouraged him to go to Dounuts Anonymous. This was the organization designed to help people like him.

He dragged out of his house via crane and dropped into a car. He drove to the center. Unfortunately, he couldn't fit in the door and listened from outside. All he heard was the word "donut".

This made him instantly hungry and tried to walk toward the car. Unfortunately, the car was stolen by Ma Fia.

He was alone, stranded without a car or cell phone. He would have to walk.

The journey of 1000 miles began with one step, a step that made him trip and stumble. He rolled down a hill to his house and was plunked at his front door. The crane put him back in his easy chair.

He sighed with relief as he turned on his television to watch more TV. Then he yelled at his kids for being stupid, and drank only coca-cola for the rest of his life.

Then he got in a car wreck and died because he was such a bad driver.

The End.

Oh, if you don't know who I'm talking about, ask your dad. He'll be just as clueless. But it'll be funny, just cuz it's about him.

The End (fo real this time).

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Hi #8, and a comment

I know the "hi" posts don't do too well.

But that's too bad. I'll post whatever I feel like, and there ain't nothing holding me down.

So there.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Monday, February 21, 2011


I thought I'd tell all my followers a secret. Here it is: chicken is an animal, not a food.

'Nuf said.

Time for the pokemon of the week!

jk. I think I figure no one loves my pokemon of the week schmeals. They're generally unloved and skimmed over for naughty words. I felt sorry for them.

So I won't do any more of those until Black and White are released in America. That should happen in like 2 weeks.

Yup. Looking forward to it.

If you're one of my followers who like to yell at me when I spend my money, too bad. Below is a simple equation for you to follow.

$ does not = college
college does not = good job
good job does not = happiness / $
Pokemon = happiness

Get it? 'k. I'm done. I hope you have it figured out.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Another Short Post

Once upon a time a little child named Blamachan ate an ice cream cone.

He was a deprived child, one who had to eat chocolate brownies instead of cookies because they were less crunchy. He was always forced to be quiet in his home.

This kid grew up to be a loudmouth. He yelled at his wife and screamed at his boss. He got so loud that he woke up the "Sleeping Dragon" - China.

Thus America was destroyed by the Asians. Communism knock-offs ruled the world.

Viva la revolution! Viva la Vida!

I used to be king of all the world.
But now I post the most stupid blog

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Acting like a Fool

I had my pants on the ground and I was acting like a fool.

Speaking of refrigerators, I ate some brownies the other day. They were fergalicious and feraligatoricious.

"I like m-m-m-muffins."

"That's mmm mmmm muffins!"


Yeah, I don't have much time to post right now. I was getting tired of seeing "Wassuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!" on my blog for too long.

Speaking of Lickitung, I caught a minun.

According to an unnamed source, minun is the best Pokemon ever. I'll probably make him / her the Pokemon of the week.

Speaking of Pokemon, the 3DS is coming out soon. Keep the fingers crossed and hope for a free one in the mail. I certainly don't wanna pay $250, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Y'know? Besides, it has a 3D camera. That alone makes it amazing. I dunno.

Anyway, make sure to comment on how awesome my blog is. If you don't have anything nice to say, then shut up.

Adios, I don't like you I think you're gross.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Hi #6


"Eh, not much."

"Cool, that's cool."



"Nothing much."

"Cool, that's cool."

Monday, February 7, 2011

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Hee Hee

Hello, friends. I hope to put up an awesome video on this blog soon. At least, I hope so. You know how things can come up, like y'know angry dogs are released or pink elephants start dancing around my head.

It should prove thoroughly annoying, using annoying characters with annoying voices. I hope it'll turn out epic. Using a crappy camera that's not designed for video, using stuffed animals as characters, books as props, and having no video editing software (that works), it should be pretty nice.

In other news, yo Zeke, sorry 'bout the dance dude. Hopefully the dances in the senior year will be better. Maybe you should drag along Kevin against his will. (I do have some duct tape in my car!)

If ya wanna hear all about it, check out his amazing website:

News flash from Homeschool Inc. or whatever! Obviously the conquered country of Poland has sent them some refugees, and some pottery. They accepted the pottery, and threw out the refugees. (They were smelling up the place with their communistic sleds and beards.)

I didn't even know the Polish could grow beards. If ya wanna learn more click on this link:

By the way, I'm trying to figure out how they put the lead (graphite) in the pencils. I just can't figure it out. I keep eating more and more graphite, but to no avail. Even after 23 pencils, I still don't understand.

Hey by the way, potato chips taste like fried potatoes.

Speaking of potatoes, I once saw the man on the moon. He looked a little like Huckleberry Finn. He had a fishing rod and was relaxing on the crecent moon. Below him were the words Dreamworks Entertainment. It must be a sign of the end of the world. (I've noticed that the end of the world will happen around elections, interesting.)

I think this post is the definition of a ramble. Finally I've achieved the status of a Random Rambling.

Speaking of Ranbo, I'm thinking about invading Iraq, just to spark controvercial issues. I'd probably kick their government's butt.

It took me like 12 minutes to finish this blog post. That must be record time. Mostly my record time was due to the fact that I typed without thinking. It's easy to type fast if you don't think about what you're writing. That's why I'm talking nonsense.

Speaking of nonsense:

jkdu5duw2gtfst y4d ry4wyuv 788tg re6fhdtv yjhf7gjvyhvt yt7g -gnvgb higyugyh6=+hgA3akfdyuan ;aluifoiup aireouu5nusgi 754inbf kadfiun '? dhyoind 5317 I like chicken. 8j43 . u3qo yufhisf yo o243ohg ;s89p

Ok, I'm done.

The End

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Another Pokemon of the Week

Well, I just decided to throw in a few more Pokemon strategies. Yeah, I'm that bored. Y'know, I don't think I'll ever post this kinda stuff once a week. Just get used to it. No one reads these things anyway.

Let's find out what the random number generator says... hmmm... no not that one... ahh... here we go.

The pokemon is #97: Hypno, the Hypnosis Pokemon.

... Ok... I guess that's an improvement. From an overgrown spider to a psychic pig thing.

Here are some sets I would recommend for Hypno Strategies:

Calm and Peaceful Hypnotist

Ability: Insomnia
Item: Leftovers

Shadow Ball
Focus Blast
Calm Mind

The idea of this set is pretty self-explanitory. All you have to do is pull up a few calm minds, then use your special attacks as needed. If only Hypno was a little bit faster...

The Faster Hypno

Ability: Insomnia
Item: Iron Ball

Psycho Cut
Fire / Ice / Thunder / Drain Punch
Trick Room

Use Trick Room to switch everyone's speed, using the iron ball to make you extremely fast. Use Fling to use a 200 power move that one time. Then, throw in a few other attack moves like Psycho Cut and something else, for type coverage.

The Classic Hypno

Ability: Insomnia
Item: Leftovers

Dream Eater
Focus Punch / Nightmare

This set relies on luck, yes, I know. No need for all two of the people who read the middle of the post to get emotional. Just hope that Hypnosis hits. It's fun to use if you can pull off the Hypnosis. Have fun with it.

Other Options:

Nasty Plot
Zen Headbutt
Switcheroo / Trick
Thunder Wave

All are perfectly good moves. Ya can throw them in if ya want. I'll let you do that.

Generally Hypno is a fun Pokemon to have, not especially powerful, but that's alright. Just don't throw him in a battle with legendaries, you'll be fine.

Counters: Anybody else with insomnia, but resists psychic. Honchkrow, Banette, and even that stupid bug I was talking about before, Ariados. If Hypno doesn't have Shadowball or Fling, Shedinja can murder it and its family.

If Hypno is ever in a battle against Scizor, Hypno is going to die. Skarmory can resist any move Hypno throws at it, and then attack with Night Slash. Sableye and Spiritomb can take any attack, but hate lucky Hynosises.

It's probably a good idea to have a chesto / lum berry around this Hypnosis Monster