I got a rumbly in my tumbly so I went out for some honey. Being a blogger of very little brains, I got myself in trouble with the law again after holding up a grocery store with a piece of paper. (Those paper cuts hurt, they're perfect deterrents for stopping security.) I ended up in jail after a two hour car chase. (I didn't' even have a car, only a small tricycle.)
I of course got thrown into a cell with several infamous criminals including Rip-ya-apart-chainsaw-Joe (he smuggled a chainsaw into jail), Dennis the Menace to Society, and East Side Eastmond. I knew I couldn't survive my 70 year sentence so I had no other choice- I had to escape.
Thankfully, behind a picture in my cell (a picture of air) there was a secret tunnel. I crawled out of the tunnel and into the sunshine of freedom. Unfortunately, this was a fake sunshine, emanating from a cardboard prop for a play in the shape of the sun. I realized my mistake. I had interrupted the kindergarten musical display of Oedipus Rex.
I scared the bejeebies out of the tots and tried to run for my life out of the elementary school. The situation was made worse by the fact that the other prisoners followed me. They kept muttering about a hit or something. I used my teleportation powers to send me back home (under my favorite bridge).
What? Are you saying I should have teleported myself out of prison anyway? Shut yer mouth. You don't know what you're talking about. And stop interrupting my story!
I got out my whisky and vadka. I mixed and guzzled. I was happy until I heard a the sound of a chainsaw...
To Be Continued...