Sunday, May 2, 2010

Evolution: The Untold Story

I have real scientific proof that evolution is fo real! An online tabloid (whose URL I've forgotten) has informed me that before their reporter's very eyes, a Charmeleon evolved into a Charizard, proving that dinosaurs evolved into birds. I myself have encountered evolution in a different way. After sleeping through disturbing dreams, I awoke and found myself as a monstrous vermin. I then realized I was a surrealist writer, destined to be squashed to death by random household items, like apples.

The next day I metamorphosized into an ape-like creature living underground. Everywhere I went I was called mean names like "Murlock". I stole their time machines, so that'll fix 'em.

Eventually I reincarnated into a Miltank, revered by the Hindus for my tasty flavor in hamburgers.

After a few lifetimes, I worked back to a human. Thankfully I have a blue aura instead of a green one. Otherwise I would have to wait a millennium [falcon] or two.