Thursday, February 25, 2010

Smashing Good Show

I sat in the theater, waiting for the Big-Mouth Opera to begin. I wasn't interested in the show. I was interested in escaping the police. There's only one way to truly escape the police- fake your death. This is exactly what I planned for Act 3, the sword fight scene. Hopefully those actors / singers can perform impromptu.

I saw the curtain rising and all the Big-Mouths trying to remember their musicality they lost long ago.

My hands were sweating buckets of green sweat. Thankfully no-one noticed because of the green slime falling from the ceiling. I was so nervous I could have replaced the swords they would be using to the original fake swords. I knew that in order to be convincing, everything would have to go as planned. I traced the crowd, seeing if the police were on to me.

Then my eyes fell on the fatty police officer, Bob Po-Po, who was snacking on glazed donuts. My anger rose to tremendous levels. Those were my donuts that he stole from me just yesterday as I ran from the police! I could tell because I had my initials on each of the donuts in blood. Obviously it wasn't my blood, just some guy's who was in my way.

(God rest his soul)

I decided to go steal them back. The problem is that I couldn't be seen until the right scene (ha ha get it?). I needed to formulate a very complicated strategy. After thinking for a few drawn-out seconds, I decided to go for a sneaky approach.

"HEY!!" I yelled, "GIMME BACK MY DONUTS!!" I stormed over to where he was sitting, snatched my extra large plate of donuts, swallowing them all whole. I grabbed the officer's 7X LARD shirt and threatened to eat his face if he EVER ate any more of MY donuts.

Just then, I realized my mistake. The singers, the audience, and all 200 police officers in the balconies were all staring at me. I was trapped. The police officers all took out their guns and started shouting at me with megaphones to surrender. I ran for my life to the front doors of the theater. The police started firing at me at blockaded the front door. I ran the other direction toward the back door. A helicopter flew overhead with a spotlight. The singers were panicking and screaming in their soprano voices.

Still wondering how a helicopter could fit inside a tiny theater, I lunged for the back door. But, it was blocked by three kong-fu pandas.

I had nowhere to go.

Then I realized dig a tunnel out of there. I grabbed a conviniently placed shovel from off the carpet and started digging. I had to eat some of the concrete because the shovel wasn't strong enough for that. But, after a few hours time, I was able to escape toward the sunset. I was able to stall for that much time by making the underground squirels attack (fyi: underground squirels exist, and they make pig noises. Learn more about underground squirels at www.justGeorgespage.blogspot.com


That's how I learned always to wash my hands after going to the bathroom.

I squashed a pretty bug.

17 comments:

justGeorge said...

I have a question- how do you make any money running from the police? Another thing- can't the police track your computer from this blog?

justGeorge said...

I make my money selling lemonade.

The police don't know they can track me. And you won't tell them.

justGeorge said...

You make no sense. How can you get the materials for lemonade on the run?

justGeorge said...

I'm not on the run, I'm on the walk. Lemons are really cheap if you steal them from Farmer Joe.

justGeorge said...

Farmer Joe?

justGeorge said...

He's the cousin of Hick Joe, the guy who makes underwear out of grass.

justGeorge said...

Oh! I know him. He's the one with the two eyeballs.

justGeorge said...

?

What are you talking about?! He doesn't have any eyeballs. He just has eyes.

justGeorge said...

?

justGeorge said...

!

justGeorge said...

*Doink*

justGeorge said...

*Boink*

justGeorge said...

*Oink*

justGeorge said...

You just ruined the atmosphere.

justGeorge said...

Your factories ruined the atmosphere.

justGeorge said...

Your MOTHER ruined the atmosphere.

zakluv_145 said...

thats what she said.