Beards and Bread sticks, what are you talking about? Don't you know that Barney the Dinosaur can totally squash Armaldo, even without his suit.
(realizing he's on a kids show)
Oh! Hi! I was just yelling at a useless employee.
(To employee) You're fired!
Anyway, today we're going to learn about our solar system.
(gestures at obviously fake planet hanging from the ceiling)
This is the planet Earth, where we live.
And this is a photo of our planet as seen from space.
(gestures at fake planet)
Now our Earth is huge! Bigger than your house, your yard, your city, even... even... YOUR MOM!!
(a few eyebrows are raised, a few TV viewers elbowing each other)
But this Earth is only a little green been compared to the Thanksgiving Feast known as the universe.
If Earth was this size...
(gesture at skinny kid playing video games)
Then the universe would be this size!
(gestures at obese employee who was tricked into standing in the spotlight)
There are nine-
(everyone interupts) Eight! Pluto isn't a planet!
(clears throat) - eight reasons why I'm awesome. Apparently Pluto, Mickey Mouse's dog isn't a planet.
(rereads the script, he scratches his head and sighs)