Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Just Got a Beard

Today is the day.

No. It's not the day I got a beard (idiot).

Today's the day that I squashed a bug. I was super effective, as all you Pokemon fans would say. Which means I just talked to myself. I'm sure if you've listened to me long enough you would realize I do this way too often.

Just like the way I talked to the bug.

It said to me, "justGeorge, do you have a life at all?"

And after careful consideration I said, "No, I lost it and my mind long ago."

"Oh, then I assume that you live in a lower-middle class where you enjoy eating fast food and TV dinners as you casually sit and snack in front of a semi-large television, wasting your life instead of working up the ranks to eventually become manager of the McDonalds where you work, thereby never actually enjoying life as you always buy your stuff at Wal-mart, regardless of the fact that everything there is either made in sweatshops or in Chinese factories (more sweatshops) and that all the stuff they sell you won't last a month before breaking, but that's OK because you're ungrateful for what you have anyway and you don't mind complaining about things, in fact if you didn't complain, the entire world would stop revolving and we would be flung into space where we would suffocate from the lack of oxygen (except for the roaches) this would create a new and unexpected Apocalypse that will bring the end to us all in 2013, thus bringing me to heaven where I will write long, run-on sentences that no one bothers to read completely through." he said without ever taking a breath.

I walked slowly over. I took off my shoe. Then I killed him on the spot. His last words were these:

"Ept tu Shoe-a?"

I don't mind that I killed the little bug. I do mind that his words stabbed into my heart just like a tongue piercing... and an eyeball piercing... at the same time.

I will get my revenge on all the bug kind. No creepy crawly is safe under my reign.

The Reign of justGeorgetwo has begun.

(theme music plays)

(commercial break)

Then the episode continues for 10 seconds. Just enough time to say, "THE END"

(credits)

THE END is displayed again just in case you missed it the first time.

7 comments:

justGeorge said...

I love this show. There are commercial breaks every two minutes and there is no educational value at all.

THE END

justGeorge said...

Actually, there is some educational value. I learned how to read Sanskrit and divide by zero. I can count from infinity backwards.

THE END

justGeorge said...

THE END of THE END

justGeorge said...

THE END of all ENDINGS of THE END.

justGeorge said...

THE END of THY END thou hast ENDED with ENDINGDOM containing ENDINESS while THE END still ENDS THE END of time.

justGeorge said...

THE END

zakluv_145 said...

Fantastic (new blog here)!!