Saturday, November 21, 2009

Ma Fia's Endeavors

Ol' Ma Fia's at it again.



Our reporters from justGeorge's Entrepreneurial Section of Universal Simulcast (jESUS) have just reported that Ma Fia just farted. We cannot tell the chemical makeup of the cloud of gas she released. We do know this: it is highly toxic to all human-kind. We will give you more updates as time progresses.

(about two seconds later)

We now have new information. Apparently, the composition of this gas is 32% "Cheetoes" 17% Et Cetera and 51% beans. BEANS! DO YOU HEAR ME?! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!! IT WILL BRING THE END TO US!

On a more positive note, the destructive power of the Mayan calendar, uh... Ma Fia's Fart will kick in around 2012. So, we have a few years. I suggest during the time you have, you should think of 101 things to do instead of drugs... uh... I meant to do with your time. heh heh (oops)

ET phone home.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I Just Got a Beard

Today is the day.

No. It's not the day I got a beard (idiot).

Today's the day that I squashed a bug. I was super effective, as all you Pokemon fans would say. Which means I just talked to myself. I'm sure if you've listened to me long enough you would realize I do this way too often.

Just like the way I talked to the bug.

It said to me, "justGeorge, do you have a life at all?"

And after careful consideration I said, "No, I lost it and my mind long ago."

"Oh, then I assume that you live in a lower-middle class where you enjoy eating fast food and TV dinners as you casually sit and snack in front of a semi-large television, wasting your life instead of working up the ranks to eventually become manager of the McDonalds where you work, thereby never actually enjoying life as you always buy your stuff at Wal-mart, regardless of the fact that everything there is either made in sweatshops or in Chinese factories (more sweatshops) and that all the stuff they sell you won't last a month before breaking, but that's OK because you're ungrateful for what you have anyway and you don't mind complaining about things, in fact if you didn't complain, the entire world would stop revolving and we would be flung into space where we would suffocate from the lack of oxygen (except for the roaches) this would create a new and unexpected Apocalypse that will bring the end to us all in 2013, thus bringing me to heaven where I will write long, run-on sentences that no one bothers to read completely through." he said without ever taking a breath.

I walked slowly over. I took off my shoe. Then I killed him on the spot. His last words were these:

"Ept tu Shoe-a?"

I don't mind that I killed the little bug. I do mind that his words stabbed into my heart just like a tongue piercing... and an eyeball piercing... at the same time.

I will get my revenge on all the bug kind. No creepy crawly is safe under my reign.

The Reign of justGeorgetwo has begun.

(theme music plays)

(commercial break)

Then the episode continues for 10 seconds. Just enough time to say, "THE END"

(credits)

THE END is displayed again just in case you missed it the first time.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

For all you Critics out there...

Some of you losers may sit at your computers and glance at my blog. Then you chuckle stupidly to yourself. Then you lick your fingers after eating a whole bag of potato chips that you shoplifted from the local grocery store.

You're despicable. I despise you and your family. I, Nebuchadnezzar, decree that all those that do not comment will chopped into tiny little pieces and their houses completely ruined (Daniel 3:29).

So you better comment.

And you better pay your protection money too.

Otherwise Ma Fia might come and get ya.

Also some people asked me why justGeorge talks to himself. I'll answer that question with another question. What happened to your face?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Sorry from the bottom of my butt

Sorry I haven't been posting (to all you followers of my blog (myself)). I was delayed because Russian gangsters kidnapped me. But, all that is behind me now. My counselor said that the kidnapping is my fault, and now I have been brainwashed to believe him (I wonder why my fuhrer oops, counselor says that?). Now I see that it changed me for the better in the long run and made me a better person (I know how to escape from handcuffs now).

Anyway, enough about me. I want to hear about you.

Not.

I hope you weren't so gullible that you believed what I just said. I want to talk about myself to myself more. Talking to yourself is actually a non-crazy and very sane way of communicating to others (ask your English oops, I mean Communication Arts teacher about it). That's why all the great people in the world talked to themselves, as evidenced by Ernie-and-Bert Einstein (his first name is hyphenated like all German first names). He talked to himself and would get off topic easily.

Speaking of which, have you ever walked in tall grass and got attacked by random Pokemon oops, I mean animals in the field? I have. My starter... um I mean pet always took care of 'em.

I didn't ask YOU. I was talking to myself... again (Duh! What is this guy/gal/thing thinking?! Does he/she/it think that I write this poop for him/her/it? He/She/It is sadly mistaken.).

I LOST THE GAME

I'm sorry

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

It's my birthday today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(sticky keys)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not really. I did that to get my attention. I really just wanted to swear at something.

Here we go.


*bleep*!!!

:0
:)
:(
:-)
:-(
:3)
:3(
;)
:/
:\
:
:o
:O
:]
:=)
:+)
:~)
: }
: {
:<
:>)


I'm using all the facial expressions I know. I don't know many. A lot of those guys I made up like :3) and stuff. I probably should get going so... OW!!! I STUBBED MY *bleep*'n' toe! A heaping helping of *bleep*s! A boatload of *bleep* Can't you see I got a *bleep* that *bleep* ed my *bleep* while *bleep*ing my *bleeeeeeeeeeep*!

WE ARE NOW EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT POST

YOUR FACE MAKES ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT MYSELF

THANK YOU