Saturday, May 18, 2013

Racist People

justGeorge feels like going on a rant about... donut prices.

The price for donuts is too... high. I had to spend two million dollars just to get a solid gold donut. And it didn't even taste good.

I'm for real guys, if this keeps up, I'm gonna have to move to Canada; I heard that gold is free there. That's why there was the great Gold Rush of '95- because Canadians were giving away gold. If I can get me some of that, then I'll finally be rich. Rich in Calcium.

If I were a rich man... yub- you know what? I think there's a time and place for everything, including when to speak and when not to speak. Thankfully I'm typing, so that means I don't have to speak.

Everyday I'm shuffling... into work where I sit in a cubicle, thinking about how the word "cubicle" sounds like a body part.

Hey! Since I never post and I'm doing it right now, I have an announcement for you.

No, not you, reader. I'm talking to someone right now. Please stop being vain. Seriously. I'll bet you think this blog post is about you, don't you? Well, stop being so stoopid. You don't see me talking like an idiot, so why do you?

No, I'm not talking. I'm typing. See? This is another example of your stupidity. It frustrates me sometimes. It really does. Fo realz, man. In fact, I'm going to increase the education budget because that apparently solves everything in the world. Yeah, more taxes and more computers. That's what schools need.

Oh! I have an idea. Let's play the quiet game! Ready? Go!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Yo dis be yo homeboi

Hello, fair readers of this blog. I am here to inform you about a wonderful adventure you can take... for free! That's right, it's a buzzword we all know and love. Lemme say it a few more times. Free! FREE! FREEEEEEEEZE!

Now who doesn't like free?

All you gots to do is send me your money, and I promise I won't charge anything for it! Honestly! You can send me as much money as you want, and I won't charge you!

So what are you waiting for? I need money, and you need to chase after the word "free". So do it!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

I firmly resolve to never die. Ever. So far, I've kept this resolution and I hope to keep it for the rest of the year too.

In other news, the cause of the hobo is becoming less than appreciated. That means I'll have to steal at a greater rate in order to gain the necessary attention. Maybe I'll take a dump on people's doorsteps too, and puke in their lawn. That's usually effective.

The po po have been friendly recently. They're usually sending me on my way, rather than beating me to death. Which is good, because I've made a resolution not to die this year (or next year, but that might be pushing it).

Anyway, ho hum, that's all. I have no plans to leave this glorious country, not until we get back on the gold standard. I can't stand gold. It gives me a rash. And getting a rash makes me puke too, and I'll have to puke in people's yards more. I'm actually running out of fresh yards, and if I keep going, I'll deplete the entire rainforest... uh... yard surplus.

BASEBALL!

Television professor! Television starts with the letter T!

Sorry about that. I'm contracting a mental illness, something called Spontaneous Trash Umbrella Pick-a-nose Inverted Democracy. Pretty much forces me to overuse emoticons and talk about random stuff. :)

Well, :-) I guess it's time to end this New Years rant ):

But don't worry! :) I'll still post something sometime. ^_^

Maybe :S

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Gak

Gak. 'Nuf said.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

The Word of the Day Number Stupid

Sblingablarghinshootletootleowlsofgahoolefirefighterpikachuwithabaseballbatchickenonastick

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

justGeorge's Chocolate Factory

justGeorge crept quietly, making sure that the chocolate factory workers could not hear him. The reason for his stealth? Sabotage is illegal. So he hid in the shadows as often as possible, blending in like a ninja. His ninja suit helped him achieve this with ease.

A guard was stationed by the chocolate vat, guarenteeing that a normal person would not be able to steal it. The fool. He had no idea that just a few feet away, justGeorge was plotting like a madman.

The guard was walking his rounds when he accidentally tripped on his shoe-laces. He fell face-first. justGeorge knew this was his opportunity. He leapt from the dark shadows and charged him. Delivering 3,000 kidney punches in an interval of half a minute, the guard had a ruptured kidney and died.

justGeorge grieved the fact that he had to kill someone for this dangerous mission. He took a moment of silence.

When three seconds were up, he got a running start, then jumped (head-first) into the chocolate vat.

Submerged in delicious goodness, justGeorge could not help but sample the quality of the chocolate. Finding the quality to his liking, he didn't hesitate to gorge himself.

After a few minutes of self-indulgence, justGeorge started to feel a tug on his leg. Then it felt like the he was being pulled under. justGeorge's eyes widened in surprise. He was being sucked below!

justGeorge, after assessing the situation, decided the best course of action was to scream like a little girl. Achieving nothing with this decision, he decided to change tactics and start to panic.

Then suddenly he was pulled completely under and into a large, clear tube. Willy Wonka, the devious owner of the chocolate factory grinned at him mischieviously.


justtGeorge cursed him loudly as he was pulled into the fudge-making room. He wasn't really sad though, he would feed lots of little children someday. Maybe they would become as fat as me.

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